ephemeral

i want you

i miss you
and i never thought
i'd say that.
we owe each other
nothing
and yet i want
everything.
mornings mornings with
strong coffee
and friday nights with
strong alcohol.
the days when you feel
like you're screaming
at the top of your lungs
and no one can hear you
and the days when we
don't have to say
a single thing to feel heard.
i want it all.
and i can't say that
so i just keep on missing you
because i can't
admit it to myself
that i want you.