Disappointment

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Monday had rolled around all too quickly for you

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Monday had rolled around all too quickly for you. You had enjoyed the weekend you spent with Namjoon, but it hadn't seemed long enough. The two of you had spent the weekend at his place, him working and you finding ways to occupy yourself. When the two of you weren't having sex, that was.

Namjoon was a company head for a business he had started 4 years ago. He was able to come and go within the company as he pleased, which meant he made his own schedule 95% of the time.

You, however, worked a simple 9-5 job as a secretary for a law firm. It was a boring job, but it put food on the table and gave you the weekends off. You couldn't complain too much.

So when Namjoon had suggested that you stay with him for the remainder of the weekend, you couldn't have been happier. He had took you over to your apartment to grab some things that you needed and then the two of you came back to his place where you stayed until this morning. The two of you had watched movies, talked about everything, had endless, amazing sex, and just enjoyed each other's company in between his work calls.

Despite trying to remember that this was not a relationship, you were like a teenage school girl in love. Everything felt like a relationship, but your brain knew better. Your heart, on the other hand, was fighting you.

You sat at your desk, staring out the window at the snow that had begun to fall. You twirled your pen mindlessly as thoughts of Namjoon danced around in your head. Memories of the amazing sex the two of you had all weekend flashed into your mind, making your cheeks flush.

Missing him, you picked up your phone and decided to text him.

Y/n: Hey Joon.. 💜

Minutes turned to hours that eventually turned into half the day going by before you got a response from him. You shouldn't be as clingy as you are but here we are. It's a little late for that.

Namjoon: Hey beautiful

Your stomach flipped at the pet name.

Y/n: Are you busy tonight?

You missed him terribly and just wanted to see him. Even if only for a couple of hours. Your phone buzzed again, almost instantly after you sent your reply.

Namjoon: Um, I'm not sure. What's up?

Y/n: Nothing, just wanted to see you. 🥰

Namjoon: You know I always want to see you.😏

You felt your heart drop as you realized he thought you just wanted to have sex. But maybe you just needed to clarify.

Y/n: I was thinking we could grab dinner somewhere?

After an hour had gone by with no response, you began to feel disappointed. You knew you shouldn't, but you couldn't help it.

You decided to let it go and just head home once you got off work.

As you made your way down the steps and towards your car at 5:00, you noticed a very familiar black Escalade parked beside you. You grinned as you watched the driver's door open and Namjoon hop out.

He was honestly the most beautiful human being you had ever laid eyes on. He was wearing a long, tan trench coat with a black turtle neck underneath. His legs seemed to stretch for miles in the fitted black slacks that he was wearing. Not to mention, his thighs looked glorious.

"What are you doing here?" You called out, walking closer to him as you pulled your coat tighter around yourself. You tried to cover your smile but it was no use. You were happy to see him.

"I thought someone wanted to see me?" He teased, his dimples slowly forming as he grinned.

He took his hands out of his coat pockets and wrapped his arms around your waist once you were close to him. You giggled at the feeling of being lifted off the ground. You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face into his neck at he hugged you.

His heavenly scent and cologne intoxicated you, causing a soft hum to leave your throat.

"I missed you."

Namjoon pulled you back and set you back on the ground.

"I missed you too beautiful." His eyes travelled over your body  as they darkened slightly with lust. His hands remained at your waist as he gave your body a small squeeze. "I really missed you."

Your heart clenched, knowing what was going through his head. Yes, you would love for him to fuck you right now, but you also wanted him to be yours. Not just sexually. And you didn't think you could just keep up being a sex friend. It was starting to weigh on your emotions heavily.

Your eyes dropped as you stared at your feet. You didn't know whether to go home with him like you always did, or just leave so you wouldn't put your heart through more pain.

"I think I'm just gonna go home Joon. I'm more tired than I thought I would be."

Namjoon looked down at you, putting one finger under your chin to turn your face towards his.

"What's wrong?" He asked, genuinely concerned.

His eyes were soft and showed signs of worry. For a split second, you thought he might have feelings for you. But you knew that wasn't true.

You felt tears forming in the corner of your eyes but you blinked rapidly to try to fight them away.

"Nothing. I just did something really stupid and I knew better." You answered quietly. A single tear managed to find its way down your cheek, making the snowy wind even colder against your face.

Namjoon searched your eyes for some sort of hint for the reason behind your sadness. He had an idea as to what was going on but he wanted to hear you say it.

"Talk to me, baby." He said, bringing your face into his hands.

He wiped your tear with his thumb as you leaned your face into his hand. You knew he was just humoring you. He didn't really care because he didn't want to be in a relationship. At least, that's what the voice in your head kept telling you.

"It's nothing, really." You pulled away from him and unlocked your car. He walked around to your door and rested his hand on it, keeping you from opening it.

"Please tell me what's wrong. I know I took a while to respond to you but it's because I wanted to surprise you when you got off work. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." He pleaded with you softly.

You felt as several more tears began to fall from your eyes. You cared for this man so much but you just knew he didn't feel the same. Despite what his actions were telling you, you couldn't get his words out of your head.

"I don't get into relationships. I don't have girlfriends. I have women that I fuck, nothing more."

The cold air began to blow even harder as the temperature continually dropped. You gently forced your driver door open against his hand, causing him to take a small step back.

You weren't trying to hurt him. You were trying to save yourself from being hurt.

"Just tell me what happened."

You sat in the driver's seat and looked up at him with tear filled eyes. "Nothing happened, Joon."

You closed your door and buckled your seatbelt. Putting the car in reverse to back out, you paused to look at him one more time through your window. As silence filled the small space in the car around you, you answered him even though he couldn't hear you.

"I fell in love with you."

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