We found love in a hopeless place

chapter 14: don't leave me there tonight.

Nothing comes easy, you have to work hard to get the things that are really worthwhile in life

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"Only choice" is an example of an oxymoron which I despise the most as of this moment, I've never been given a choice. I'm always in the situation wherein the people around me has already made the decision for me. I have no freedom, and it's suffocating me.

How can anyone tell me how powerful my family is when me myself can't even control my own life. I am being controlled. I feel like a puppet with strings and my Dad is the one pulling the strings. I'm not allowed to do anything without his approval, I get it when he says he only wants the "best" for me but sometimes, I don't know if I'm actually living my life.

I can't take anymore complication, I feel like I'm about to explode. Marco, my parents, the university, Remy and I guess I'm battling with myself too. I have to fix these, I can't keep ignoring my problems anymore because they keep on getting back and are about to bite me so hard that I'm gonna crack. 

I have decided upon myself that I'm gonna file a leave of absence in my course, normally a student couldn't just drop after already taking a major exam but being a daughter of my parents, they have the power to convince the administrators to do so. Marco has no idea and I'm not planning to tell him soon, we're just not in the right position to talk about this. I came home feeling distraught, it felt like all the crying and depression drained all of my energy to even function. The first person I came looking for is my dad, I went to his office which was as big as my room and has this big portrait of my family, we all seemed happy. Looks can be deceiving. Ever since I grew up, I've never been independently happy. His assistant was the first person I came across.

"Miss Jesse, I'm afraid that your father is making an important call and you might have to come back and talk to him later" She said and smiled.

I scowled at her saying "I need to talk to him" and walked directly towards his door, and she just stood there knowing she can't do anything to stop me.

"Dad! we.need.to.talk" I came rushing in. And his assistant just kept apologising to him, I glared at her, ordering her to get out of the room and she did. I turned to face my Dad and all I got was a raise of an index finger which made my anger rise. "This is important" but he was so caught up with his phone call, he didn't even looked at me. "Im pregnant" I said, thinking it might catch his attention but it didn't. When I finally got frustrated I grab the first thing I could reach, which was a vase that I think is more expensive than my hermes bag and threw it on the floor. He was stunned for a second.

I raised my eyebrow and put my hand on my hip, finally I have his attention. If he dares to complain on how expensive that vase was, I don't know what I might do.

"I'll call you back" He said to his caller on the other side of the line.

His assistant came back and was surprised to see the broken pieces of the vase. "Should I call the maids sir?" She asked, with a worried look on her face. "No need Gretchen" He said calmly. Which made me more mad. Then she hesistantly left.

"Do I really need to break something for me to have your attention?" I hissed with my arms crossed on my chest. "I need to talk to you". He just sat there so I proceed on talking "How come, I don't know that you and mom. Two important people in my life are keeping secrets from me?". My dad knit his eyebrows "What secret my dear?". "WHAT SECRET? don't act like you don't know dad!" I was already shouting, I know I'm heard in the entire mansion but I didn't care, I'm so tired of everthing. "The fix marriage with me and Marco, all this time he knew and I didn't. Wow! you were planning a wedding without the bride-to-be knowing it. Too bad you're not the CSI cause I found out about it and I hate you for that. damn you!" tears were already streaming down my face, I tend to cry whenever I'm angry or sad or frustrated or when I get overjoyed. Tears for me are already  mainstream.

"I didn't want you to know" My mom came in. "But why?" I asked, I was desperate for answers. "Because we knew if we told you, you would be mad at us" She reached out her arm to hug but I took a step back. "Oh I'm not mad, I'm furious. And you made Marco to be a part of this, I could've love him you know but now I can't and I never will because of what you did"

I ran out of the office and outside I saw most of our maids are looking, curious on what was happening. And when I saw them they immediately went back to their work. I took the keys of someone's car and I drove out of the mansion with the mercedes benz.

I step on the gas, and drove on the seemingly endless road. I almost hit four cars before arriving to a bar. I've been here two or three times before, and I knew it because the bartender recognizes me. I ordered my usual one and he just gave me his sensitive and empathic smile. He may think he knows what I'm going through right now, but I couldn't care less of what he thinks anyway.

"Ugly break-up huh?" he tried to start a conversation.

"Long story" I said, this was my shortcut for "mind your own business"

"We got the whole night babe" And he was hitting on me, don't I get a night in a bar without any guy scooting towards me? Oh right, it's a bar, how could I say that? I just gave him a smile. If I wasn't so frustrated and wanting to have a drink I would've smack him. But I wanted to stay longer. As the night progresses, I was almost unaware of what was happening to me, all I know is I'm trying to dance with someone and some pervert were trying to touch me, I kissed a couple of guys, danced on the dance floor with the song "turn me on" by David Guetta feat Nicki Minaj. And last thing I could remember is calling someone from my phonebook but I could remember who... 

"Hello? Jesse? Where the hell are you?!"....

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I woke up with a rush of hangover and I saw beside the bed was a cup of coffee. so I tried sitting slowly because my head feels like it's gonna fall off. After tasting the aromatic coffee and my senses started to function, First thing I notice was the smell of the room, I know this freaking perfume. I don't want to believe it, but this is his room.

"Glad you woke up already" And there stood Remy, half-naked with his towel because he just came out from shower.

"You should clothe yourself first, it's kind of distracting me" I croaked with my hoarse voice because I badly needed water. Then he raised his eyebrow at me smirking then went outside for a little bit. I tried my hardest not to bite my lip but I did. God what am I doing.

"Am I less distracting now?" He came back with a V-neck white shirt and a boxer shorts. "A little bit" I said. "How did I get here?" I asked him because I obviously don't remember what happened yesterday. He stared at me blankly which was an eerie feeling "You really don't remember?". He asked while he combed his hair with his fingers. "I wouldn't ask if I did" I told him. "It was around 1:30 am when you called me Jesse, I kept asking you where you were but all I could hear was loud music. Luckily you drunk texted me the name of the bar, it was really hard to decode but I did so I picked you up before any guy could've take you home" He said as he sat at the corner of his bed and he reached out and stroke my face. And all the feelings came back, my love for him. I feel like I could take all the risks again, I feel like running away with him, I feek like..I feel, I looked down, NAKED?! I am only wearing his shirt. 

"OHMYGOD" I immediately grab his sheets and covered myself. "Did we?" I said. He just laughed "This is not funny" I shouted, feeling a little embarrassed. I realized the irony that afterall yesterday I felt like I was a slut in the club and now I'm acting all innocent half-naked on his bed. "Relax, when I got you here last night you went straight to the shower. I couldn't let you shower alone because you might pass out, so I supervised you and since you showered with your  undergarments on, so I had to let you borrow my shirt" after what he said, I relaxed a little bit. I'm so thankful that I called him and he picked me up before anybody else did. I leaned in to kiss him, which he responded with a passionate one. We made out for a while until we ran out of breath. We just lie on his bed with me on top of him, just listening to the beat of his heart.

"Why were you there anyway?" He asked while he is kissing my hair. "I got into a fight with my dad, I wanted to get away" I whispered. "Don't do that again, you made me worry on what might happen" He said. Then we both fell asleep with me in his arms.