Dear Diary

NINTH

~~~~

Charles Leclerc

Giada was everything to me. I grew up next to that girl and became who I am now. To be a man, to be a gentleman. But a man does better not to get caught up in his first love, right? Well, maybe it was a small mistake, but I did. I broke up with this girl and tried to reevaluate my life. After all, I longed for a better life. I wanted to race in Formula 1 and I wanted to be a member of the Ferrari team. In comparison, everything went well except that I lost my biggest supporters. Everything has turned gray and dark, and I haven't even found my place in a while. Unless I'm near Rose. That girl completely changes me, challenges me. It presents me with challenges that no one else on this earth faces. I have to do well. I want to accomplish to get my respect back on this team, again I want to be the rider who is the best. I want to be a world champion.

...

06/07/2017

I hurried up the stairs at the Monaco Hospital. Lorenzo came behind me and little Arthur in front of me. Mom was already sitting in front of the gym and crying. Her makeup was smeared and it looked like she hadn't been sleeping in 2 days. Arthur ran over to her and hugged her.

-Mrs. Leclerc ?, --came out the doctor with a slightly worn face.

-Yes, --my mother picked up her head and quickly got up from her chair

-Now they can come to say goodbye to him, --the doctor said, and opened the door.

That was the last time I saw Dad in those few minutes. He was lying in bed trying to move his hands. He was in a vulnerable state, a state I never wanted to see him in. His face was still full of cheerful smiles and a sigh of pleasure.

-Charles, promise me you'll be a world champion, --my father said on his deathbed

-I promise Dad, I promise, --I finished the sentence by the time my dad nodded happily and closed his eyes. Then at that moment a world broke within me. A world that has existed in me since I was a child. I loved my father, he always supported us with my brothers. However, now his lack has completely ruined the desire I have felt for my family for so long. Seeing my mother smashed, it was perhaps the worst of all. After all, she lost her love ...

....

-Charles, you're not even paying attention to me, --Rose said, and with that sentence she brought me back to the present

-You're right, I was really a little bambooed, --admitted my mistake and thanked fate for not having to go through the awful minutes of the past anymore.

-I kept saying that we should finally do something to make Dad believe that what was between us was real. For this reason, I decided you should accompany me to the Ferrari Ball. You actually get an invitation, I think, but you're better off, aren't you?

-But but, anyway, --I said and started eating my breakfast. Maybe Rose noticed the frustration on my face or something because she pressed a kiss to my forehead and took my hand.

-Charles, what's wrong?

-I don't want to tell you here,-- I said and I was reminded of a few shields of thought as these words came out of my mouth. After all, we were both standing on the balcony of my Mexican hotel room that Sunday morning, race day.

-I'm nervous about the race. I'm afraid. I'm scared of my nightmare

-Charles, why didn't you start with that?

-I didn't mean to burden you with that, but I dreamed of my father's death. In his last minutes and he wanted me to be a world champion with Ferrari, now look where I'm going. I'm nowhere ...

-Don't do this, you know you're a skillful and lovable person

-I don't deserve people to love me

-Charles, you are the most kind man in the world, there will always be someone to support you, --Rose said and stepped closer to me. --You know, Charles, I didn't mean to do this, but now I'm asking you to kiss me right now.

I was genuinely surprised. I froze completely, but I walked over to the girl and placed my lips on her lips. They were warm and velvety soft. Rose’s kiss was the thing that made my day perfect, but that moment for sure. I kissed her and she kissed me back. I put my hands on the back of her neck and she put her hands on my chest. I could feel it smoothing out my elaborate upper body.

-Charles, don't stop, --she said

-Rose, I have to stop,-- I said it and took my hands off the girl.

-I know I asked for it and thank you for not abusing your current situation, --Rose said. Her eyes twinkled

-I don't want to get you. I don't want to disappoint you as much as Jules did.

-But I was still young then

-Why aren't you now?

-I am, but I already know what I want. Charles, I like you, --Rose said, and at that moment the blood froze in my veins. How can anyone love me? Can anyone take care of me? No, I can't get this, I don't deserve it all.

-Rose, it's too hot here. Don't talk nonsense ...

-Charles, I'm telling you the facts right now, you stop this nonsense. Don't you remember what I said before? You are a lovable person, believe me!

-Rose, I'm not the person you believe me to be. You don't know me enough yet, so just play the role and let's assume nothing happened

...

And it really has become. Rose took my hand in public places. Hugged, supported, but no longer as it has been for the past two days. She became cold and willful. Of course she smiled in front of her father, but when we stayed together we became enemies again
....

...

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