Us. | A Joe Jonas FanFiction | Book 3

fourteen.

Two weeks until wedding day.

Two weeks until wedding day.

Two weeks until the wedding day.

"Holy shit." Addison whispers to herself, the voice in her head becoming more frantic each time she says the sentence to herself.

She lays in bed, Porky at the foot, the comforter bunched up and all over the place. She didn't sleep well last night, the realization of getting married and how quickly it was all happening had hit her like a ton of bricks. She's hot and sweaty from nerves, a leg sticking out from under the blankets, although the only thing still covered was her torso and the other leg. She's hot, but it's a comfort thing.

Don't get it wrong, Addison is far from cold feet. She's more than ready to marry Joe. She'd go to the courthouse today if it were that simple. It was simply the ceremony that she was nervous for. She's never been the one to want to be the center of attention, everyone knows it. I mean, it had been one of the reasons she tried to run away from who she had thought were her parents for so long. She didn't want to take over when her... when David died. No matter, the point isn't that she's nervous to marry Joe. She's ready for that. She's simply nervous to do it in front of all the people attending.

Then again... she did find herself wondering. Second guessing. Again, not about Joe. But about herself. Was she really the best for him? No. That she knew. But he chose her. It doesn't matter. But doesn't it? She has never been the wife type. Cleaning and cooking has never been her thing and she didn't even want children until Joe came along so she has no idea whether or not she'd be a good mother or if she'd even enjoy being a mother. And what if she's not? What if she doesn't? She doesn't want to bring children into the world and not be able to love them. She knows what that feels like, she doesn't want to do that to children of her own. She would hate herself for it.

Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. She thinks. I'm spiraling. We're not even there yet. True. But he wants kids and if I'm not sure than I shouldn't marry him and then decide later and be a horrible person. Stop. I need to talk to someone about this.

Grabbing her phone from the nightstand, Addison clicks on the contact she has become quite familiar with, putting it on speaker and laying the phone on her chest.

"Hi aunt Addie!" Alena says into the phone.

"Hi babe!" she answers in a cheerful tone.

Dani laughs lightly, clearly bringing the phone to her own ear. "Hey girl."

"I'm spiraling."

"Uh-oh." Dani responds.

"I'm not like second guessing marrying Joe. I wanna make that clear. I love him I want to marry him more than anything. But, then again, maybe I am second guessing it but not because I don't love him. It's because-"

"Nerves."

"No, it's because I don't know if I can do the whole mother thing."

"Wait, what?" Dani asks, confused. "Have you guys talked about-"

"A little, yeah. But I was thinking about it and I never wanted kids until Joe and even now I don't know if I'll be a good mother or if I'll even love my kids. I mean, no offense but kids are assholes, and I don't know if I'd be able to be that person who is a mom. I don't know if I can handle it."

"Okay, first of all, take a breath."

Addison does as she's told, taking in a breath, holding it for a few seconds and then letting it back out.

"Okay. You guys haven't even talked about having kids in depth yet, Addison. You can't let your brain move faster than it needs to. And even so, I can tell you that you'd be an amazing mother and you would love your children more than you can imagine."