Us. | A Joe Jonas FanFiction | Book 3

twenty seven.

It had taken a few moments to catch my breath after earlier, but I had managed to pick myself off the floor, clean up my mess, and make my way downstairs, the three tests remaining in my jacket pocket as I put away the groceries.

Joe had come out of the gym, sweating, and panting after another half hour, claiming he was going to rinse off in the shower and then make us lunch with it getting closer to eleven. I hadn't the strength to tell him I didn't feel like eating and it stays lying on the plate at my place at the table, untouched now 3 hours later.

I only have a limited amount of time to figure out how to tell Joe before he figures out something's wrong. I mean, I've already been a bit off today despite trying my hardest to keep it together. I want to tell him. I want to tell him in a cute, we're expecting our first child way but I'm so scared he's not going to be happy about the pregnancy at all, and planning something cute is going to be a waste of time. Do I call Dani? No, I can't tell Dani I'm pregnant before I tell Joe I'm pregnant, that's just wrong. But I'm scared and I don't know what to do... I can't tell if my fear is convincing me he's going to be upset or if there's actual reasoning behind my belief. I keep going back to knowing that we agreed to let things take their course and we'd get pregnant when we did but I'm not sure he wanted it to happen this quickly. However, if he didn't want it to happen this quickly he'd probably suggest us taking some precautions... right? I don't know.

I glance out at him in the pool in the backyard, swimming laps as what he would call relaxing while I would call it an extra work out after the one he just finished. Though whatever makes him happy I want him to do. I sigh, shaking my head as the nausea continues to stir my stomach. I'm not sure if that's the anxiety or the baby at this point though.

Why can't I just make up my mind? The tests are hidden upstairs in my drawers which he never goes into so it's not like he'd find them unless I showed him but how in the hell do I decide how to tell him when I'm absolutely terrified of his reaction? Well... am I terrified of his reaction? Or am I dwelling on his reaction because I'm trying to distract my mind from what I'm really terrified of? Being a mother. I've been open about it my entire relationship with Joe. I've told him time and time again that I was terrified to be a mother... and that I didn't want to be because of how much it terrified me. But, then something changed. It really did change. I thought I wanted a baby. I thought I could do this, especially with him. He makes anything seem possible. But now that it's happening I'm not sure I can. In what world would I ever make a good mom? I've never had any good role model to show me how... well not until recently. But regardless, I haven't seen my mother... mother really. I've seen the worried side, the fun side, the side where my sisters are pissing her off and she needs a minute. But I think, to this day, I still haven't seen her parent. Really parent. Which isn't her fault. I'm busy and so are they, we don't see each other often. But it's a lot to think about now that I'm-

"Hey."

Joe's hand lies on my arm gently, taking me by surprise as I jump, turning to him before letting out a breath and looking down.

"I tried to be careful," he admits. "I'm sorry."

I shake my head. "No, it's okay. I'm sorry, I was lost in my head."

He licks his lips as I avoid his eyes, knowing he'll put two and two together.

"You haven't eaten," he says, noticing the plate still on the table. "Are you still not feeling good?"

I open my mouth to lie, his eyes catching mine and my mouth immediately closing before letting out a sigh. "No, I don't."

He licks his lips, sighing. "Maybe we should get you to the doctor then. Figure out what's going on."