One Eternal Ember

Chapter 24

Kasdeya

The next few hours are long and boring. Delano insists he stay by my side in any case of emergency, but I know it's simply so he can keep an eye on me. He has made it clear he doesn't trust me roaming around alone quite yet. Not that I can blame him, trouble seems to always find me. The empty halls and corridors of the castle nearly lull me to sleep, as we finally rest in the courtyard, on a white marble bench. I've always been keen to others watchfulness. Being watched wherever I go no longer bothers me as it did so long ago, it only makes it easier to tell where the eyes are watching from.

The clouds paint the sky like soft tufts of fur, and the evening sun is intense. None of this bothers me, except the part where Delano is extremely close to me on the bench, and won't keep his eyes off of me.

"What are you looking at?" I flatly question him, seeing as the tight leash I held on my temper has now slipped. I need to be more careful of that. A memory pricks my brain of Castiano and the temperament he has, and I nearly smile. That is, if I wasn't being stared at.

"Nothing. Though I can't help but admit we have been sitting here for the past thirty minutes in silence."

  "And?" Does he honestly expect me to converse with him? After his little pissing contest with Zuko in the statue corridor? What a hindrance. I release a sigh.

  "I thought you would've spoken up about something by now. Have you no questions? No curiosity? I've shown you nearly all the Castle has to offer and you haven't batted one eyelash."

  I shrug. "I've seen better." Was that too harsh? I don't think so. It was the truth after all. The most beautiful Castle I've ever seen is the Capital Of Collosus, God of Sun and Flame. The heat bears down on you with the weight of one thousand horses, but the Capital is stunning. Even though I hate to admit it. The Gold of the castle shines like a beacon, and it only makes me wonder how it hasn't melted. Castiano would laugh himself sick right now if he saw me sitting here, looking at the clouds with the Captain of The Guard and thinking about how I find a gold castle beautiful instead of outrageous. I cough over the laugh that nearly escapes. Oh how far I've fallen.

  "Not even a thank you Delano? Or, what a kind Captain? You must've had an extremely long night."

  "What would I thank you for?"

  "For not giving you the verbal lashing you deserve after leaving your quarters last night."

  My gaze whips to him, to find him watching me with his piercing green eyes that are full of anger.

  "You're spying on me now?" I retort, the bite in my tone escaping before I can hold it back.

  "I am trying to protect the Royals. That is my job Kasdeya. You leaving your quarters after hours, after I told you not too disrupts my work. You really believe I would tell you not to do something for the fun of it? Everything I do has reason, order, and discipline. Clearly those are things you lack, Mortal." He snarls, rising from the bench.

  Before you say it, I know. I know I should watch what I say, and I know being a smart ass will get me nowhere but in a deeper hole. Being aware of these things still doesn't stop me from losing my temper, unfortunately.

  I rise from the bench and snarl back at him, more animalistic than human. "Things I lack? Why don't you tell me what else I lack Captain. Tell me how I am a measly human in a Capital with Fae who are better than I am. Tell me how I am weak, and worthless, and expendable. Tell me Delano. Tell me how I am a child who is clearly lost. These are things I have already heard. Everything you could possibly say I have already been told day in and day out since I arrived in this damn place. And believe me if I could leave I would. But that is not an option right now, is it."  There it is. The buildup of all the words that have been snarled at me, and whispered about me since I've arrived. But there is also something else. The bone melting, utterly destructive flame in my veins, boiling away all rational thought. The anger, turning my breathing ragged. But there is also the fear. The fear of myself, and the things I've done. Just like that, the fire is gone, and I feel nothing.

  "I have never said any of those things to you." He whispers, clearly shocked by my rage. "I have never told you anything like that, and I don't intend to offend you. But you need to understand." He continues, breathlessly, looking at me as if I've gone crazy, but also with sympathy.

  "I'd like to return to my quarters. I'll attend the meeting when I am summoned." My voice sounds detached, and cold. Delano stares at me for awhile, trying to think of something to say, as I move past him and begin my journey to my quarters. As I walk up the steps to the Grand Hall, I don't need to turn around to see he is not following me. For some reason, I feel relief.