Love over water

Mr. Godwin

I finished my To Do List. I did fill out all the boring forms, I did buy myself some raincoats even though I sadly couldn't find any good looking ones and I watched the pirates of the Caribbean together with Jemma yesterday as a "last evening before our journey". What I forgot to add to the list was getting all the important information. But luckily I did get them. Mr. Godwin caught us three while our math lesson last week ( he couldn't have chosen a better time ). So at first we had to introduce ourselves to Archie, the new student. He moved here from San Francisco because his father got an offer to work as a medical director. I don't know if I am allowed to say it ( since I am supposed to be in a relationship ) but he looks really good. It was my first time seeing him and it kind of took my breath. ( I still love
Allen ). He's my type but I don't know his character yet... He's probably 6'2 and looks like he would be already going to university. So yes, he made a good first impression. Anyway, Mr. Godwin told us important things to pack, showed us some travel destinations, like Cuba, the Bahamas, Costa Rica and also west Europe. He also educated us about all the dangers. There could, or more will be storms, heavy rains and turbulences. But we will get an extensive coaching on our first few days. All students are either juniors or seniors but there are also some older volunteers that finished school last year. The thirty students are certain and there will be thirty eight people in total. The focus is on science subjects and we will also learn the daily life on board. Of course everyone will also get their own tasks to do and it is necessary to do them conscientious. There are also rooms of three person. What he also added ( and what my favorite fact is ) is that we will have spend different time periods on a different spot, mostly around five days or longer. After school we are allowed to go sight seeing ( visiting museums for education is required ) and going shopping. There will be specific times to be back on board. "And", which he emphasized, "everyone is only allowed to take one backpack. You won't need any make up or hundreds of different looks but rubber boots and old clothes", he said while looking at us smiling.
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My backpack is already packed ( and it maybe took me half an hour to get it closed ) and yes, it wasn't easy. As I was ordered I did pack lots of rainproof clothes and diving equipment. But I did also pack some cute summer dresses, because Costa Rica wants to see a pretty Tara right? Luckily we're getting things like thick jackets and pullovers on board because they would never fit in my bag. I also packed two books and downloaded lots of eBooks even though Mr. Godwin said that we'll be to busy for reading ( but we'll see ). Me sitting on the boarder of the boat watching the sunset and trading? Ahhh, that's a dream!
Jemma is texting me non stop about how exited and grateful she is and how bad she will miss her family. And she also sent me a thirty minute long voice memo of how hard it was to decide what to pack. We're actually not that different, or just both girly girls. So now I am waiting for my mother to drive me to the haven, thinking about how lucky I am having Mr. Godwin on board. My mother taught me a lot, but he changed my life. I got to know him in eighth grade, where I wasn't at my best. I really liked him as a teacher and also had the feeling that he liked me. He is a really caring teacher, which not many teachers can say about themselves and he saw that I am struggling. Since he is also a school therapist he appealed to me and asked me if I needed help. I knew that he was a therapist and I also did not trust those people. I always thought that they couldn't help me or anybody and that they will judge me.
But Mr. Godwin showed me that I was wrong. I directly noticed that he knew what he
was talking about and that he really cared about me, so we sat down every time I needed it ( which was nearly once a week ) and talked. He gave me so many advice, he is like a book full of wise quotes. I think he created that voice in my head, my guardian angel that always tries to cheer me. I didn't tell my mom, she doesn't even know today, and I improved, a lot. I don't know if she noticed, but I did. Mr. Godwin was always there when he was needed and I don't think that any other therapist is like him. I felt understood. I wouldn't say I was depressive because there are people who have it worse, but I kind of were lost. I didn't know if everyone had this part in life where he just scrutinizes everything, including oneself, but I had it. But that wasn't all. I did not have that guardian angel in my head that time, but a different something, I don't want to call it a monster, but I think it is the right description. It was the opposite of my angel, it made me think of all the negative things, even if they were completely dispensable. Sometimes it was worse sometimes better. But Mr. Godwin showed me how to fight that mean and demotivating thing that wants to talk everything badly. He taught me that it even is a monster and not me, that I have to fight and and that it's not my fault. Sometimes you have to fight your inner voice. Focus on the good. So then we let the good voice be louder. I actually don't know how he did this, how all his quotes helped me so much, but I managed it, I haven't heard the bad voice since this time. I think Mr. Godwin is just a magical person, he kind of felt like a dad to me. Without him I wouldn't be at this point now. He also said : "You may not be what you wanna be yet in life, but you're also not who you used to be." And that is true. I still weight the negative thoughts more than the good ones some times, but I'm improving.