One Bad Hair Day [COMPLETE]

His Vanishing Mustache Crisis

Vernon examined himself again in the mirror and could not believe his eyes... he patted the disaster area under his nose, where only yesterday (and even before he went to sleep last night) was his glorious mustache... and now he smoothed out his hand there and found no traces of even the slightest bristles or worse, he dreaded when an uncontrollable tremor passed through his body, nothing seems to be growing there anymore!

"Petuniaa!" He cried out loud in terror

In response he heard the sounds of female footsteps rushing towards him and after some more lengthy seconds, the yellow and the shriveled up face of his wife, barely carrying the toddler Dudley in her hands, appeared at the door,

"Where's your mustache?" she asked casually, trying to stabilize the overweight baby who was holding a piece of damp donut that dripped sticky puddles of pulp toward the floor...

"Well done Petunia, that's exactly what I'm asking, maybe you can explain to me how a whole and completely healthy mustache can disappear overnight?"

"Did you... shave it?" Petunia asked the obvious

"Obviously not, Petunia! If my grandfather who fought the Germans had a mustache, and my father who grew up in the days of austerity had a mustache and until I, who finally managed to grow one of my own... do you think I would shave it and have no recollection of doing so?" he scolded her and then whispered "maybe it's related to... you know who..."

Petunia went pale for a second but immediately regained her wits

"Vernon Dursley, good morning, do not shout in front of the boy!" She raised her voice without noticing

"So do something, make an appointment with Dr. Dawson and let my secretary know I will not be at the office today" he told her in an angry voice "it's not appropriate to our family, it is completely abnormal" he said to her in a depressed and troubled voice.

Petunia turned and walked toward the front door to take out the three empty milk bottles for the neighborhood milkman.

"Dudley, you munch so much" she murmured to him in a babyish voice and tried to suppress in vain her intrusive thoughts about the mysterious disappearance of her husband's mustache... a faint concern kept poking her head...

"No, it can not be." she repeated and muttered to herself several times until she opened the front door.

At first she saw a spotted cat which hissed at her in an almost humane and frightening way, and after a millisecond it disappeared into the bushes, but before she could grumble and shake her head in discontent she noticed a bundle of black and tattered blankets from which peeked a small pink hand holding a crumpled envelope.

Petunia slammed the door in panic and tried to get out of the steady grip of Dudley that started screaming "Won't! Won't!" but when she put him in the living room and turned on the TV for him, the chubby baby immediately fell silent, hypnotized to the screen.

Petunia dragged herself back towards the door and opened it hesitantly, hoping to find that miraculously the entrance to her house would become normal again, as usual... however the annoying cat reappeared and glanced at her, Petunia's heart pounded hard - first of all the cat looked as though... bespectacled? and worse... the dark blanket package was still there!

Mrs. Darsley took a deep breath, nervously reached down and unwillingly released the letter from the pink hand that stuck out, read a few lines and screamed of anguish.

His wife's outcry accompanied by a loud commotion of cats howling and unknown baby cry disconnected Vernon from the bathroom and quickly hurried him to the front door. The pale Petunia collapsed on the floor with a scrawny toddler in her arms, whimpering in tears, at the same time Dudley's frightened screams were heard from the living room.

"What is it?" Vernon demanded to know firmly what was the shrill bundle of blankets in his wife's hands, completely forgetting about his disappearing mustache crisis

"It is... he is the son of Lily and James..."

Vernon looked at the loud baby with a look reserved for shell shocked casualties returning to the battlefield... for Vernon, his toddler nephew was presumed ghost... If someone would have asked him this morning - the Potter family does not exist at all..

"Go to Dudley" Petunia gestured towards the living room...