One Bad Hair Day [COMPLETE]

GROW MY FACIAL HAIR BACK YOU BLOODY FREAK

Him and the kids woke up to a noisy and frustrating afternoon, not only was toddler Harry found to be a restless, naughty and prone to shuttering vases (too bad for the expensive and antique one bought by aunt Marge...), but also, Dudley did not recognize his eyebrowless father and responded by intensely yelling "Won't! Won't!" and vigorously pulling off the hairs on Vernon's head (which detached in quantities and frighteningly easily from his scalp...)

At some point Petunia sent him out of the living room after realizing that his presence is useless and even harmful since he scares Dudley and causes Harry to be even more uptight. The humiliated and defeated Vernon retreated to the bathroom and stared grimmly at his miserable hairless head. However, when he felt his pocket he discovered the note in which he had written the phone number of "Saint Oliver" orphanage. a smile of consolation appeared on his face while he hurried to the bedroom, locked it and dialed the number in haste.

Unexpectedly he was immediately responded.

"Helllloooo?" an unfamiliar voice thundered from the telephone headset

For a moment Vernon thought he had accidentally called his sister "am I talking with Saint. Oliver Orphanage?" he asked awkwardly

"Caan you hear meee?!" the strange voice kept raising his voice

"No need to shout, I hear you..."

"Umm good! and now, are you listening to me?!"

"Even when you said 'Umm good' I heard you, some might think you never spoke on the phone..." Vernon said half-overwhelmed half-sarcastic

"Blimey! you might be right, this device is fascinating - I should learn more about it in the future..." the man on the other side laughed

"Who are you? did I arrive at the orphanage house?" Vernon queried with a shred of suspicion

"I'm Arthur Weasley from the British Ministry of Magic, umm are you listening to me?"

"Yes, I can hear you, why do you keep asking me?! Are you related to the orphanage?"

"Umm no... but maybe I'm related to your bad hair day... so for this purpose I want to make sure you listen to me well... Please - DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT CALL THE ORPHANAGE ANYMORE..."

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO THREATEN ME?!" Vernon gasped angrily

"Umm, I thought you were listening to me, I already told you my name, Arthu-"

"DO YOU KNOW WHO AM I?!" Vernon roared in rage

"Yes, you're Vernon Darsley from Privet Drive 4, are you still listening to me?..."

"KNOCK IT OFF AND GROW MY FACIAL HAIR BACK YOU BLOODY FREAK!"

"Umm it seems to me that you listened to me properly... so I'll now return that part you muggles call I think - a tube... to this... switch that stops the call... I think you will not hear me after that... such a wonderful invention, a phone! good job muggles, have a good day and give a kiss to Harry for me..."

All the while Vernon kept yelling and waving furiously with the telephone handset but eventually he picked up that no one was in the other line anymore. Exhausted, he laid down on the bed, trying desperately to arrange his raving heartbeats and gradually he came to terms with the inconvenient completion that he would not be able to get rid of Harry...

An increasingly rapid sound of footsteps was heard on the stairs, soon after Harry broke through the locked door (!) and Dudley easily rammed him towards Vernon

"DADA!" he called out to him and raised his hands as requesting to be lifted

"Hooray! Now I recognize my husband - Vernon Dursley" Petunia cheered with a slight smile, ignoring the complaints of the sore and dizzy Harry who had failed to recover from the crash with Dudley.

Vernon stroked the hairy area under his nose with satisfaction, the mustache was back! his eyebrows also grew above his eyes and it seemed that his lashes were longer...

"Petunia, I'm terribly sorry for your sister... You're right, we need to keep Harry... We'll make him normal - I promise you..."

Petunia looked at her husband with a sense of relief which was disturbed by a tearing sound, they both turned around and saw a few torn pieces of the carpet (the expensive and the very luxurious) they only bought two months ago, right next to Harry who started crying in frustration

"Harryy!"