dollhouse // billy hargrove

twenty-one

heather's pov

and just like we talked about, we had our girls night. just like the old times. ever since senior year started, we've both been so busy studying and applying to our dream schools that we kind of just ditched hanging out with each other–outside of school at least.

nancy's house was so welcoming. it was hard not to be envious. but i loved them just as if they were my family. karen, nancy's mom, always made home-cooked meals and would serve ice cream sundaes for dessert. ted, nancy's dad, was always around but never really said much. i guess it's better than being completely absent. but, it was clear he did care for his family with all he did for them. mike, nancy's brother, was just like another brother to me. he was the same age as bradley, and they hung out occasionally after school for dungeons and dragons club. 

their home was perfect on the outside and the inside. something rare to find. at least for me.

nancy grabbed me by the hand and pulled me upstairs to her bedroom. she pulled out her nail polish bucket as we sat on the carpet. 

i rummaged through the colors and eventually end up choosing a dark red, meanwhile nancy chose a nude. 

"so, you and jonathan.." i urge, staring down at the brush of the nail polish making sure it doesn't drip on the carpet.

"i don't really know what happened. it's like one day we were great, and the next everything just went downhill." she shrugs, "you know about how we were supposed to go to the same college. turns out, he didn't actually want to. and it wouldn't have been such a huge deal if he just told me about it. like i want him happy, i really do, wherever he is." she pauses to paint one of her nails.

"i never didn't want the best for him. and, we were supposed to hang out and go on our own vacation over winter break, but he decided to just smoke weed with his new friends. he completely ditched me at the airport. and he didn't even feel sorry about it. he said something like it was my fault that i scheduled the flight so early..." she pauses "...the flight took off at two in the afternoon. what a great excuse." she scoffed. 

"i'm sorry nance. i'm really sorry i wasn't there for you. i should've been. i felt so shitty when i came back to all your voicemails. i didn't mean to leave you in the dark like that." i stare down.

"it's okay heather. really. don't you worry about it. i would hold your hand right now, but i don't want to mess up my nails." she laughs, instead putting her hand out and clamping her fingers into a fist, acting like she is holding my hand. i reciprocate.

"are you okay now? like really?" i questioned still concerned and trying to make up for my lack of friendship.

"let's put it this way. i'm glad we happened. for what it was, he treated me well and i did enjoy every minute with him. however, i am moving on. for the sake of us." she says, but it seems like she's still holding back on something.

"so, have you found someone to move on with?" i suggest.

"well, actually. yes." she blushes and i see her eyes light up. "steve and i have been talking more. like we were still friends before, because he would always hang out with the losers..." referencing our brothers and their friends, "...but like, now he just comes over sometimes for me."

"a reuniting in question?" i say, waving my painted nails to dry them off quicker.

"it's possible. but, i'm not rushing anything. it's not like when we first started dating. i feel like we both matured in a good way and possibly towards each other." she giggles.

"i'm so happy for you." i squeal, "whoever you end up with, whether now or in the long run, i just hope they treat you well. you deserve nothing but the best."

she does the hand holding motion again.

"now it's my turn to question you." she raises her eyebrow.

my hands start to get sweaty as i feel the nerves rush in thinking about her asking about my face.

"so, where were you this winter break?" she coos.

i can feel my face getting red. she can definitely tell i'm blushing or starting to feel sick. "i went out of town." i spit out.

"heather, you're going to have to elaborate on that. with who? what did you do? how long?" she keeps going, giving me every prompt to answer. making sure i didn't leave anything out. 

i give in. there was no other option for me really. 

"billy and i have been getting closer and before you say anything, he's really not that ba-" i get cut off. she did have something to say.

"heather pearson and billy hargrove? getting along? going away?" she giggled questioning.

"yes. billy hargrove."

"two totally different people, but go on." she persists

not totally different. definitely not totally different.

"so, as i was saying..." i snark, "we just went on a little getaway to some random hotel like an hour and a half away from here. we swam in the pool, watched the sunset, and just all the random stuff you do at a hotel. i don't know nance, he's just really great. like, really. i know it's not something you would expect, but he just is. he treats me so well, not that we are dating or anything. you know, just friends." i keep talking, unable to stop myself.

"relax heather. if you like him, that's okay. you can't help who you fall in love with, and you deserve to be happy." she nearly regurgitates what i told her earlier. 

"i love you, nance. you are genuinely my platonic soulmate." i gush while emphasizing the you.

after hours of belly laughs and lots of chaos, i had to get home before the night ended because we had school the next day.

otherwise it would cause another problem with jess. and i couldn't handle that anymore.

i walked home while kicking rocks on the side of the street. dreading the thought of going back to a home that didn't even feel like it.

as i got to the end of my driveway, there was a figure standing at my porch. pacing back and forth only stopping periodically to ash their cigarette, but another inhale and exhale quickly followed. they seemed nervous. overwhelmed.

as i approached closer, the figure was more recognizable. the broad shoulders hidden under a jean jacket and curly hair with one loose in the middle of their forehead stuck out to me. 

"billy?" i questioned, still not one hundred percent sure.

i got close enough to see, and as he quickly turned around, i couldn't help but notice his bruised and cut up face. making me forget all about mine.