dollhouse // billy hargrove

fifteen

billy's pov

after what felt like hiking a mountain, we finally made it to our hotel room.

"336!" she says pointing out the door. i hand her the key card, knowing how in love she is with the feeling of opening hotel rooms. "i'm going to change." she says referencing her still wet and probably ice cold bathing suit.

"what you don't like my clothes?" i tease.

"exactly that." she says sarcastically. "i'm not feeling this whole button up, jean jacket look.

"i don't know, i think it's pretty hot, especially it being my clothes." fuck. i regretted everything i just said as soon as it came out of my mouth.

she laughs, no snarky comment back. the bathroom door locks shut and at this point everything seemed like deja vu. with that being said, i picked up her drawings again and continued to sift through them to find where i left off, until a specific one caught my one.

it was a portrait like all of her others, but this one looked as if it had the most thought put into it and the most effort. each line was darkened to a specific point that made it all flow together, even though it was separated.

half of the paper resembled a kid's smiling, happy face. in the background, there were christmas lights, a bicycle, and half of a house. on the other half of the paper was an angry and sad teenager, the nose, lips, and house connected to become a whole. in the background of the teenager's side, there were beer cans and bottles, cigarettes, a cut under the eye, and a camaro.

this was me.

the door unlocks, "what are you looking at?" she comes over and sits down on the bed with me, "oh."

"it's me, isn't it?" my eyes meet hers.

"yeah. i'm really sorry. it's just that your whole life so far was so interesting to me and i wanted to express what i saw and how it felt to me and all the important aspects in your li-"

"it's okay. i actually think it's really beautiful." and i wasn't lying to just make her feel better. it actually was interesting to see other's perspectives and an accurate one at that. she understood me, more than anyone else ever had.

"i actually created another piece, exactly like this, except with me. it's at home in my sketchbook, but you can keep this one if you want. it could be like a friendship bracelet!" she always managed to make a joke in any situation, but it always helped.

my stomach growls, "it's nine and i feel like i starved both you and me all day. do you want to order room service or something?"

"no way! room service? are you serious? they would never let me get room service." she was definitely still a kid at heart and was still trying to hold onto it. it was pure and something i never expected from her.

from what i've seen in the hallways, i would've swore on my life she was uptight, only doing things for her own good, and didn't take shit from anyone. but she really did have a soft side, that came out quite often. it's true that looks can be deceiving, at least in her case.

i toss her the menu from the bedside table and look on from behind her shoulder.

"anything? this is expensive, no wonder they never let us order it." she asks still amazed by the fact that she can finally order room service for the first time in her life.

"anything your heart desires."

she scans the menu over and over until she finds something that pops out to her.

i pick up the phone and dial room service, "hello, yes, i'd like to order some room service. could i get an order of cheese quesadillas, chicken noodle soup, chicken tenders, and a side of fries." i cover the speaker, "you craving anything else?" she scans over the menu one last time and points to a chocolate mousse cake. i nod my head, "and one chocolate mousse cake. yep, that's it. room 336. as soon as possible? okay, great. thank you. bye."

as soon as i hang up the phone, she stands up on the bed and starts jumping on it, chanting, "room service! room service!" she grabs my hands, "come on!" and pulls me up to be standing. "jump with me."

"the beds going to break, heather."

"just let loose." she recalls what i told her the night of the party and now she won't stop using it against me. she starts moving my hands to her movement of jumping until i eventually give in and follow along.

we were finally kids again.

she accidentally falls backwards, taking me with her. at this point, we are an inch away from each other's faces, my arms catching me, saving the space between us and saving a possible bloody nose.

"remember when i almost kissed you that night of the party?" it was two days ago, of course i remember. she kept bringing up references from the party as if she hasn't done anything else in her life. "i was so," she fades off.

"drunk." i finish her words, whether she was thinking that or not.

"i was going to say stupid, but drunk works too." she laughs, our faces still uncomfortably close from an outsider, but from my perspective, it felt comfortable.

"why did you feel stupid?" did she think it was stupid for her to get that drunk or stupid of her to try and kiss me?

"just the whole night. you know how they say drunk words are sober thoughts?"

"yeah." i couldn't stop staring at her mouth but i also made contact with her eyes, to make sure it wasn't totally obvious..

"are drunk actions also sober thoughts?"

"what do you mean?" i knew what she meant.

i wanted so badly to kiss her, but i couldn't bring myself to it. i don't know why i always froze up with her, it was only ever her. every other girl i could kiss with no problem but she was different.

"you know, like what if i really did want t-"

"room service!" three knocks on the door follow. it wasn't a bell but we were saved by it. i pick one of my arms up, replacing it by setting my knee down on the bed, and roll completely over her.

she rolls in the cart with the plates and then leaves, "enjoy." in and out, just like that.

heather was so excited and made it seem like she hasn't eaten for years. she pulled up a chair to the cart and started chowing down. although, i couldn't lie, i did the same.

after only ten minutes, the last plate on the cart was the chocolate mousse cake. she handed me the dessert fork, "you first." she said with a smile.

i stab the fork into the cake and pick up the first bite.

"is it good?" her eyes light up.

all i could do was scoop up another bite. i held my hand underneath the fork and she opened her mouth on instinct. she was just as speechless as me.

"holy shit." i finally manage to say.

bite after bite went by and barely any words were said, but as soon as it was all gone nearly every good word was said about it.

"one slice isn't enough, but i can truly say i'm stuffed." she rubs her stomach, pointing out her food baby.

and before i knew it, she was out cold.

i turned off the lights, even though i was far from tired, "goodnight heather."