dollhouse // billy hargrove

ten

heather's pov

i run into the house as i shut the door quietly, i hear billy's engine roar and the tires squeal as he drives away.

the house wasn't silent, so i don't know why i tried to be. it's not like they would've noticed i was gone, they are always too busy biting off each other's heads. i run up into my room to try and escape everything, but lord knows that could never happen.

"was he worth it? worth all of this?" my dad shouts with pain in his voice.

"who?" jess says acting as if she doesn't know. typical.

"you do realize i caught you with him in our bed, right?" he pauses, the words choked in his throat, "you can't keep acting like nothing's happening. if you don't love me anymore, if you ever even did, so be it. just please stop hurting our family. hurting heather. hurting bradley." his words have pain, not anger. they don't slur, he's not drunk this time.

"how am i hurting them?" she acts oblivious. she knows damn well how she's tearing us all apart, but she doesn't care. she's selfish.

"think about it." he waits, no response. "don't worry, i'll make it easy for you." the door slams shut and his car backs out of the driveway. he's gone. just like that.

her screams call out to him, "fine, leave like you always do! ruin our family." turning everything he just said to her, on him. she didn't care that the person she's been married to for nearly eighteen years just left her, she never did. her wedding ring hasn't been worn since the wedding. i'll never blame him for leaving.

the alcohol finally caught up to me and i ended up passing out for the night, only wishing it would've happened earlier.

my head pounded, making me wake up earlier than i hoped. i roll over to check the time, groaning for more sleep. only 7:13. but i know the longer i lay here, the more often my brain will bang at the side of my skull.

i walk downstairs and get a big cup of water, just like my dad always would after his nights of drinking. i sat on his lazy boy chair laid back just right, like he would. i pick up the newspaper on the coffee table and just look at the words, understanding nothing.

i feel like i'm not even hungover, just so much pain. i still remember everything last night the party, the fight at the party, the fight at home, and billy. i really tried to kiss him. i know drunk words are sober thoughts, but are drunk actions sober thoughts too?

jess walks into the living room in her bath robe, no acknowledgement happened.

"don't you have work today?" i blurt out wondering why she still isn't gone or ready to leave.

"you sound just like your father," you would think with the amount she hates him, she wouldn't bring him up in every conversation, "always asking where i'm going or where i'm not."

"okay, well if you don't want to talk about yourself, where is dad? he's usually here in the morning."

"right where you are." she finishes, "he just went out, probably to a bar, typical of him. you know the drunk that h-"

"can we please just have a conversation? a real one. no cover ups. no lies. no gossip as if you're still a highschooler. i just want my questions answered, no snarky comebacks." i sit up the lazy boy.

her face is disgusted. disgusted at what her daughter had just asked. disgusted that her daughter knows things she shouldn't. disgusted that her daughter finally had the courage to talk back with her true feelings. never disgusted with herself.

she sits on the chair across from me, with her legs crossed, picking up the newspaper i set down. not even focusing, already setting the bars for as good as this conversation will get.

"what's happening to us?" the words roll off my tongue as if they were there for years just waiting for the right time.

"what do you mean?" oblivious, as always.

"can you please not act oblivious to everything i ask? you know what i mean. what is happening with our family? where is dad?"

she sits silent, just as expected. continuing to read the headlines of the newspaper to see if anything sticks out to her and i know she's hoping something will stick out to her.

"okay, i'm leaving. this is obviously getting no where and i'm not going to waste my time trying to talk to someone with a high school girl mentality who's supposed to be a mom." i look at her face one last time, still disgusted, before heading up to my room to get ready for the day. slamming the door behind me.

i get dressed into a black turtleneck, jeans that i roll up at the bottom because every pair of pants is too long for me, a belt, and my dirty white converse.

i sit down in front of my vanity and start to do my makeup. my thoughts escape my mouth, "unbelievable. why can't she just tell me the truth instead of continuing to let our family burn in a fire that's too big to put out now." i choke up, trying to hold back tears as sad frustration fills my eyes, "she doesn't even have the guts to tell me she's having an affair and that dad left for good. keep living your teenage life, jess, keep ruining ours." before tears can ruin my mascara, i finish my makeup and open the door.

jess standing right in front of it. once again, unbelievable. i walk right past her, grabbing the keys to my car.

"heather." i ignore her. "heather, do not walk out that fucking door." i walk out the door. start the engine and back out with no second thoughts, just like she would've.

she screams out the door, "just like your god damn father!" i'd rather be like my father than her.

i drive for fifteen minutes until i pull onto the side of the road, behind a familiar car.

the engine dies down and i park the car. i take a deep breath before heading up to the door, just like last time. i ring the doorbell.

neil opens the door and an aroma of alcohol and cigarettes fills my nose, "billy your whore is here, again!" he doesn't catch himself this time, calling up the stairs, not even asking what i needed.

"you really have to stop showing up here." he says laughing which i'm surprised to see him actually showing emotion in his house. his white shirt was unbuttoned except the three bottom ones, tucked into his blue jeans. he dressed the same everyday, but still managed to look good, in a friendly way.

i didn't know what happened but tears began to fill my eyes and danced around my waterline, "can we please go somewhere away from here?"

his face sympathized to the pain in my eyes. no questions were asked, he grabbed his keys and infamous jean jacket and closed the door behind him.