dollhouse // billy hargrove

eleven

billy's pov

i get into the car where she's waiting for me, i haven't asked any questions yet because i'm not quite sure what she wants from me. is it because she wants to talk about why i wouldn't kiss her? i wouldn't have an answer.

no one's ever come to me before to talk, especially with tears in their eyes. no one has ever thought of me as their personal therapist, especially heather.

her reflection in the window mirrored with max's reflection. a broken face and streaming tears. something you would never see from heather. her face was almost always smiling and she didn't let anyone get to her. but maybe i just didn't know her, i never even thought about opening her dollhouse.

"do you have a place you want to go?" i don't know why i even asked, just like every other girl, they can never decide on where they want to go. "or do you just want me to keep driving until i hit the ocean?" i laugh, trying to brighten up the mood.

"can we actually do that? how far is the ocean? we can like change our whole identity, you know like in the movies?"

"that's exactly it." i pause looking at her, noticing the mascara streams down her face, "in the movies. this isn't a movie."

"i wish it was." she murmurs back into the window. "can we at least go to a hotel or something, stay somewhere for the night?"

i stare at her. a hotel? she's desperately trying to find a place to escape to, she doesn't even care who it's with, even the person she hated the most.

"you don't have to answer, but you seem," once again pausing to find the word, "distressed. i mean you came to my door, out of everyone you know, crying. i don't mean this to sound rude but why me? you know. we always hated each other and now you want to stay the night at a hotel with me. so what's up?"

she wipes her makeup from off of her face, "i don't even know why i put this on, i knew it would come off eventually." she laughs through her tears. "but, i came to you because i felt like you would be the one that would understand me most. from what you told me yesterday, we are more alike than you think."

"what do you mean?" i question, staring at the road but i can feel her staring at me.

"my dollhouse is broken, too. it just hasn't broke on the outside yet, but it's getting there. quickly."

"but every time i see your family out you guys look so-" she cuts me off.

"nice together, i know. we have gotten so used to hiding everything. but i can't do it anymore, billy. i can't." her voice gets higher as she chokes on her words.

i place my hand on her leg, comforting her in the only way i know i could. "it's alright, heather. you really don't have to tell me. i won't ask anymore questions."

"you deserve to know. you told me your story, which i'm assuming you haven't told many people. now it's my turn." she took a deep breath. "i'll be fine, i promise."

i nod softly letting her continue.

"jess," she didn't call her mom, just like i didn't call neil dad. "and my dad fucked around when they were 17 and surprise, they ended up with me. she didn't want me, she wanted her teenage years. she wasn't ready to be a mother, or even settle down with a guy. but she was scared, so she continued to have a thing with my dad to make sure she wouldn't have to be alone on this journey called adulthood. although my dad was okay with settling down, he developed a problem with drinking. he never and would never hurt us. but he often raised his voice at jess and slammed bottles. he tried getting help multiple times to try and save an already broken family, but he relapsed each time. jess, on the other hand, continued to have affairs with nearly everyone in her office, still trying to hold on to the last string of her teenage years."

people really mean it when they say you never really know what's happening in someone else's life.

"yesterday was the last straw for my dad after he walked in on her cheating on him, confirming everything. but she still continued to blame him for the falling apart of our family, he had enough and walked out. no goodbyes to the kids. just left."

just like my mom did. she was definitely more like me than i thought. more than we thought.

"have you tried talking to her about the whole thing? i know she won't talk to your dad, but maybe she will talk to you." i ask.

"no one i've ever met could have a normal conversation with her. i tried talking to her this morning and she wouldn't answer anything. she continued to stick her ground and stay oblivious, even though my dad caught her." emphasizing on caught, "and then when i quit even trying to have a conversation, i went up to my room to get ready and was talking to myself as i got ready. she heard everything. there wasn't much to what i said, just built up anger, but she didn't even bother to ask me about it or my feelings on anything." her words shake. "then i left and as i was leaving she said i was just like my father, as if that's even a bad thing. it would be worse if she called me like her, but she wouldn't think that. she's too good for me." she says with air quotes. "now i'm here, with you." she laughs, probably realizing how insane it is for her to be with me out of all people.

"crazy what can bring two completely opposite people together." i say baffled, continuing to relax her with my hand on her thigh.

"so with all that being said, i really don't want to go back, billy. please." she pouted, perking her bottom lip out just like the first time she did when she asked to talk, which somehow won me over. "can we at least just stay at a hotel for one night? i have 20 bucks right now, but i promise you i'll pay you back for everything." she didn't have to, nor would i let her.

i'm still shocked at how she hid her sadness so well. she never took her anger out on anyone. she showed up to school everyday, happy. a smile never left her face. she always was so kind to anyone. she wasn't broken on the outside, but on the inside was different.

i nod my head, "we can stay at a hotel for the night."

her eyes light up and a sweet grin shows up across her face.

anything for her.