dollhouse // billy hargrove

twenty-five

billy's pov

we approach the line for the ferris wheel and my knees start to get wobbly. heights are one of my worst fear. i didn't even take the plane from california to indiana. i chose a thirty-three hour car ride instead. 

it's finally our time to board the ferris wheel and i hand the host two tickets, one for me and one for heather. 

he opens the gate and flips the switch to stop the ferris wheel from moving. she gets in first, and i'm not quite sure what's worse: not being by the door to the cart so you can't sprint off the ride when it's done or being by the door to the cart that could just somehow unlock mid-ride. 

the ride starts moving and i quickly grip the lap bar. 

"are you okay?" she put her hand on mine. 

"would now be a good time to tell you i'm afraid of heights?" i chuckle on the outside, but on the inside i feel suffocated.

"billy, why wouldn't you tell me? are you going to be okay?" she seems worried, "is there something i can do?"

"just talk to me. what's your biggest fear?" i pause, "you know what, maybe let's not talk about fears."

she giggles, "don't worry. i won't let this ferris wheel hurt you. not without a fight." i can see her pondering what to talk about.

the ferris wheel pauses at the way top. great.

"no, no. this is a good thing, because look." she can see my stress as the ride comes to a halt, but she points out into space, "once in a blue moon." 

and there it was, the most beautiful blue moon i've ever seen. it lit up the sky like no other night, and the stars were there dancing around it. almost as if they were celebrating it's arrival. 

"must be my lucky day." i grin.

"you know what it reminds me of?" 

"what's that?" i pondered. how could something so beautiful and rare be able to remind her of something else?

"you." 

i'm stunned by her answer, "me? how's that?"

"well, for the obvious, your eyes. they are that exact shade of blue. the kind of shade that everyone loves. the shade of the ocean. if they can't choose a favorite color, they automatically spit out 'a blue that's not too dark, but not too light'. something that you can get so lost in, but feel so at home in." she pauses, switching between looking into my eyes and at the moon. "as for the maybe not so obvious. it gives a light. a light that guides us in the darkness. a light that protects us from any creature that lurks." she rewords, "every moon gives a light in the darkness, but this light is rare. something you could stare at all day because you don't want to miss a single minute of its' existence. it makes you appreciate everything else that you normally don't. the stars. the trees in its' hue. the people's faces glowing around you in a light you've never seen them before."

i could feel my cheeks start to burn. she was the one person that made me feel good about myself. that made me feel like i could do anything. 

"thank you." were the only words that i was able to let out. 

and before we knew it, we were back on the ground. safe. i wanted so bad just to kiss the floor and thank it for being there. but, i just know some kid probably puked in this same exact spot. 

the announcements go off overhead, "the fair will be closing for the night in ten minutes. please start to make your way to the front gate to exit. no more tickets will be sold in order for us to close at a quick pace. thank you for choosing your local hawkins fair. we hope to see you sometime soon!" 

we obey to the announcements and make our way to the front, but she stops dead in her tracks. 

"billy, wait." she says standing right next to the photo booth, "can we?"

there she goes again asking for permission to do things. 

i look at the sign, three tickets. i put my hand in my pocket and feel around for the tickets. i pull out everything i had in my pocket. some gum wrappers, cigarettes, and only two tickets. if only i hadn't of sucked at that stupid milk bottle game.

i nod down to my hand, showing her all i have left. she sighs, "it's okay."

we start walking again and almost as if there's some other being looking after us, i see a glimpse of red stuck in the slush. i drag heather behind me to investigate further.

a ticket. the last ticket we need.

"it's the blue moon." she whispers, "it's looking out for us." almost as if she's trying to not tell anyone else this secret.

the announcements go on again, "the fair will be closing for the night in five minutes. if you are already not on your way to the front gate, please start now. this is your final warning. thank you for choosing your local hawkins fair. we hope to see you sometime soon!"

"what if we don't?" she giggles, "are they going to send us to the hawkins fair jail?" 

"we might see." i laugh, as we step into the photo booth. i insert the two dry tickets first. the third one was sopping wet, but after a few tries the machine finally took it.

the photo booth powered on, "welcome to the digital photo booth! you'll have three chances to pose, so have fun with them! make sure you look into the camera! get ready, your countdown begins now!" there's a brief pause for us to figure out what we want to do as our pose. 

"make a funny face!" she insists. she sticks her tongue out and holds her hands up to her ears. i puff my cheeks and pull on my ears. 

"three. two. one." the camera snaps, "picture perfect!"

"just smile now!" she giggles having the time of her life. she flashes a smile with her beautifully straight teeth. i just do a grin. "show your teeth." she grits through hers.

"three. two. one." another snap from the camera, the light nearly blinding us. "ready for the red carpet!"

"okay, now what?" she ran out of ideas fairly quick.

the camera starts counting, "three."

"quick!" she frantically yells, trying not to laugh.

i look into her eyes and take my hand to her chin, tilting it upward as i go in for a kiss. she places her hand on my cheek and tilts her head, completing the kiss. 

"two. one." the camera completes its' countdown as we hold the kiss, waiting for the flash. "two sets of photos will print outside the photo booth, don't forget to pick them up. these pictures will hold a thousand memories! have a wonderful day, and thank you for using digital photo booth!"

we unlock lips and look at each other.

"i'm sorry. i panicked." i confess. as much as it was true that i wanted to kiss her ever since we came back from our trip, i did panic with her wanting to get a picture.

"don't be sorry." she hushes, placing her hand back on my cheek. "don't ever be sorry for showing someone how you feel." her eyes lock with mine, there was a tension so strong that not even the sharpest knife in the world could cut. her eyes glistened in the dim light that the photo booth gave off. 

she leaned in for another kiss. she tasted so sweet, almost as if honey ran through her veins instead of blood. i wasn't sure.

but, at this moment i was sure of one thing. i was completely and unfathomably in love with heather pearson.