Hoseok closed the door of his room harshly and leaned his back against it.
He closed his eyes but still tears were falling from his eyes with no break.
He was breathing heavily and the pain in his head only increased.
The pain was as bad as if it will burst anytime.
The nauseous feeling increased in his throat and he run towards the bathroom.
After throwing up everything he clenched his eyes shut.
His hand making their way to hold his ponding head.
He was now breathing with a lot difficulty and slided his body with the help of the wall ,
And uncontiously started the shower only to let himself get drench in that falling water.
Hoseok was now sitting on the ground of the bathroom all in wet state,
crying his heart out.
His hands were wrapped around his knees tightly .
he was shivering badly and his eyes was clinched shut afraid to open them.
The biggest fear that ecompassed his heart was that he will have to leave BTS!!
He didn't wanted to leave the group, he couldn't bear it.
This was his only hope to make his mother proud, his only reason to live.
For him this was important just like air.
That made him tremble in fear and he started crying even more.
"N....No...!!!! I c..cant... I..cant leave this group .... I need to be with them"
"As if you'll get a choice!! They'll throw you out of this band!!"
His eyes widened when he heard that voice in the back of his head once again!!
His breath hitched and he looked at the wet floor with wide eyes.
"N...No t...they won't!!! I will work har....hard!!!"
"you're good for nothing as always do you think they'll accept a pathetic peice of shit like you ??!! " the voice was strange but very sharp, terrific!! It scared Hoseok to the core and he shuttered,
"No..No..No..I..I'm n.....not .." Hoseok tightly closed his ears with his hands to avoid that voice but it didn't work infact Hoseok started to feel that terrific urge to harm himself more and more.
"Yes!!! Yes you are !!! You are a pathetic person see no one likes you!! They hate you already!!" the voice was subduing him more and more.
"N...No one hates me!! And I...I'm not what you say!! J...just go away!!" Hoseok tried to stand for himself
but the voice was very strongly subduing him,
"Oh , come one we both know how useless you are!!! no body needs you!! You're no match to be with them!! you're just a burden for everybody!! "
"...."
Hoseok went blank. All he know was that somehow and slowly the voice was taking over him and was controlling him.
"Accept it !! Everybody hates you !! your ugly face, you were never wanted !! No body wants you !!"
"..."
"You're always the unlucky one !! your father died because of you !! your mother is suffering because of you !!
Now you are giving pain to those persons who don't even deserve that !!
Don't you remember what he said , they'll get hurt if you be with them"
"b...b...but...I need them!!! " Hoseok said in his weak voice, his voice bearly audible.
"But they don't!! You'll only gonna give them pain !!!
The pain what you deserves not they ,
Yes!!! You don't deserve any happiness !! The only thing you deserve is pain....pain...and...pain... you made a mistake again, to join them and ruining them!! And...now ...you'll... have ... to... except ... the ...punishment ... that's the only way to reduce your guilt!!"
YOU ARE READING
Count on me
Fanfic"Today you are going to have a new band mate .... hope you guys gonna like him ... well his name is Jung hoseok ..." In which BTS had 6 members but suddenly they found a new member is going to join them soon .. named J...
