✯𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲✯|Billie Eilish!

This chaotic bullshit

-chapter 20-

𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯
It's been two weeks and three days since I've had my baby, it's been a week and two days since my father seemingly passed away. Not gonna lie the killing and other woman part all made sense now. He was always away. We never knew what type of job he had.

Hell clearly we didn't know what type of person he was. I feel no sympathy for this one. I can't cry, I can't be angry, I'm not sad.. I'm just numb. There should be no reasons two of my friends, plus my dad.. are dead... in the spanned of 4 months.. 1 for two of my friends.

I wrote in this book countless of times about how i just don't understand why this shut was happening and what was the reason, and why are all these people just leaving me life unwillingly like this.

-flash back in the book-

𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎. 𝚒'𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚡𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚛, 𝚒𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚠 𝚖𝚒𝚖𝚒 𝚘𝚛 𝚡𝚎𝚒 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚟𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗.

𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚗𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍, 𝚗𝚘 𝚜𝚢𝚖𝚋𝚘𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍. 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚗𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚜, 𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎.

𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍. 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚢𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚖𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚖 𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚗𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎. 𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚋𝚢 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏. 𝚒 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜. 𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜. 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢.