The Truth About Mariam

Chapter 23(The Truth About Mariam)

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Mariam.

Many people thought i was the bad guy, or I would say the bad girl.

Just because I faked my murder, then killed my best friend.

They didn't even notice what my parents did to me, all those years i spent crying, wishing i was never born, those sleepless nights i spent alone .

Nobody knew that, they all targeted Mariam, calling me all sorts of names.

I'm a monster, I don't deserve to live.
Well yeah, I'm a monster, i don't deserve to live, no one does, all the sins we commit daily, if God were human, people would have died long ago.

I blame only myself, i let hate over Asake get over me. But now i see it, she never did anything for me to hate her, she was a true friend in the short time i knew her, she didn't for once try to downgrade me as my other friends do.

Yet, I still tried to kill her, i still faked my murder just to get her.

I knew she was my friend, and i knew she loved me as one, i was evil, blinded by hate, blinded by rage, i didnt see the good friends that came into my life and i pushed them away.

Prison is really a bad place to be in, I'm just alone and rejected, my parents were released long ago because of no justifying evidences against them.

And that's what grieves me, they are set free, free from all the atrocities they committed.

My parents didn't only engage me in prostitution at a very young age, they called me names, beat me every day and lie to my teachers and friends i fell when playing and got injured. My dad has a special metal rod which he used to beat me anytime i refused to go to the brothel.

Yet, people talk, murmur, Saying i was the bad person. What they didnt realize was that i also need Justice.

I, Mariam needs Justice.

But, in this country, Justice isn't really something that would be given to a person and all is left is an empty shelf of my former self.

Hillary and Asake. Those that have hurt for no just reasons, wherever you are now, I'm truly sorry.
I can't justify my actions , I killed someone! And believe me, that stigma stays with me till i die.

I stand up from my bed and walked over to the sink, i rinse my face and my mouth.

I take out my notebook as i hop back on the bed.

Today makes is three years i've been in prison, three years and my parents and no one has come to see me.

Three years of me wallowing in pain.

The prison guards taps my cell and i look up , "You have a visitor."

Visitor...? Who can that be?

I rush to the cell and wait, looking for my s called visitor.

A slender young lady walks up to my cell and she starts crying when she sees me.

She leaned against the bars, "Mariam, It's Asake. Don't you remember me?"

I was surprised and obviously speechless.

I nod my head, tears coming out from my eyes as well.

"Mariam, I have forgiven you, i just can't forget what you did, what i faced, the pain you caused me. But to hold a grudge isn't something i want to do. You are open for second chances. But some things still remain a mystery to me and i just can't understand why you did all this. Three years Marian, three years has passed and you're still locked in this cell, no hope. "

She is right, i don't know why i did it, but the deed is done and I'm paying for my sins.

Believe me, I am paying, everyday, i go on my knees begging God for Forgiveness, every night, I'm being tormented by the forces of darkness, that dark voice in me is telling me that they deserved all what i did to them.

But i know very well, they don't, they didnt deserve it, neither do I.