High C

12. Showstopper

Alone in the crowd, robbed, humiliated, Bob wondered where it had all gone wrong and why, in particular, it had all gone so horribly wrong for him.

An episode of an ancestry show he'd never forgotten came to mind, one where a celebrity journalist had found a branch on his family tree belonging to a village sad sack. Where other guests ritually learned of relatives of the past accomplishing great things or displaying great courage or ingenuity, this poor relation was a doctor who had injured a patient through no real malice and then went on the lam, accidentally causing a fire in the barn he was hiding that destroyed half the village. He then tried to end his life by jumping off a bridge, but the water under it was too shallow and he went to jail for everything including the attempted suicide.

Bob knew his life wasn't as bad as being some unlucky sap stuck under a bridge yelling, "me leg's broke!", while angry villagers pulled him out, but it didn't feel too far off. He could probably adapt the story as a personal anecdote to tell Alvin Loy at Christmas dinner. Possibly when pulling apart the wishbone, if he could time it right. Creativity was as good a coping mechanism as any.

Natasha and DeeDee suddenly cut through the room, smiling at him excitedly as they headed to the front door. At least they were having fun, he thought. The guests filling in for Peps Freburg had arrived, he figured. He then thought about how Peps wasn't having such a great night either and felt slightly less sorry for himself. Slightly.

The ladies soon returned, followed by a good looking couple in heavy winter coats. The man, tall with a sort of old fashioned pencil moustache, and the woman, a beautiful blonde who looked something between an angel on a valentine and a pin-up on a vintage calendar, seemed familiar to him. Maybe he had seen them perform somewhere before. He took a picture of them as they were hurried in their large to the den, where he assumed they'd change for their act.

He moved closer now towards the slightly smaller sitting room where the jazz band played. He watched as DeeDee signaled to the pianist that the next act was in and handed her some sheet music. The pianist cued the band to wind down, and as Natasha returned, she and DeeDee seemed to urge one another to get on stage for the announcement. Natasha finally grabbed the microphone but she pulled her sister on stage with her anyway.

"Hi everyone! Merry Chirstmas!" The room cheered back then settled to let her go on. "Isn't DeLaine's band wonderful?" The pianist and musicians gave a grateful bow to the crowd packing in more closely. "My sister DeeDee and I had planned for some extra entertainment tonight. The plan changed and changed again, but we think we're all in for a nice surprise. We love you all dearly, and thank you all for coming, and now let's hear a warm,  welcoming round of applause for our special guests, The Astonishing Jones and Carol, Quick Change Artists Extraordinaire!"

The man called Jones, in a classic tuxedo with tails, skipped merrily to take his place in front of the band and held out his arm to beckon his lovely co-star to his side. She was dressed in layered gown of the palest periwinkle, her blonde hair in the sort of retro waves which made her look as though Jean Harlow was playing Pinocchio's Blue Fairy. As Bob wondered where she could be hiding her other outfits, he was unable to shake the strong sense that he should know; that somewhere in his uncooperative mind he knew more about this duo than their names. Even before Jones addressed the crowd, he knew that his voice would be deep and wry and sophisticated, just as he knew Carol's would alternate between silky and squeaky. It was possibly a good guess based on stage character tropes, but it no less bewildered him to be proven so right.

"A great good evening to you ladies, gentlemen, and guests of our hosts. As we were introduced, I am Jones, and this is Carol, and we are what is known as quick change artists. Quick, does anybody have any change? I forgot to tip cab the driver."