High C

16. Clothes Encounters

"Did your aunt say what I think she said?" Bob asked as the car finally made it back to a main road.

"Yes," Natasha said. "But she's been engaged three times and never married so don't listen to her. She said she was rooting for us though. Good job, babe."

"Oh yes, good job," DeeDee mocked him. "Be still my heart! I just looooove cats!"

"Well?" he said defensively. "My lady asked me to be nice to your aunt and I was. Should I have said, my, but your home is an unsanitary barn and now my suit looks like it's made of patchy mohair? No, because that would've hurt her feelings. Besides, for your information I like Aunt Phil. Even though she's one of those whingey feminists and frankly, a bit of a hypocrite, at least she's been nice to me."

"Still my aunt, hon," Natasha warned him lightly.

"She told you both to run," DeeDee said.

"Just because we can't articulate our love for each other as well as some, doesn't mean it isn't there," Bob said.

"That's right, sweetie," said Natasha. "DeeDee knows Aunt Phil likes to be the voice of opposition even if she has to turn against her own team to do it. She's a contrarian. Says it keeps things balanced and honest."

"Sure. Like when she was pouring all her money into that Naples love nest with her Italian count. Her lawyer tried to warn her that the woman pretending to be his sister was actually his wife, and what did she do? She doubled the budget and said his 'sister' could move in with them." DeeDee said.

"And she put her on the lease! She knows she's no judge."

DeeDee dropped the subject and stared out the window. She was no judge either.

"DeeDee it's me. I'm just calling to say Merry Christmas and to let you know I'm thinking about you. I'm always thinking about you. Christmas is just the excuse.

"I miss you. I miss your face, your calm. I miss how you sparkle with joy, the way you tease me and see me, not just what I do and who I am for everybody, but how I really feel. I think about that time I was waiting for you outside the theatre and you said you were late because you stopped to look at me. All these people on the planet going on with their lives, you said, and there I was, and I was yours. Of all the people I belonged to you. You never stopped looking at me like that until I told you I was married, and I'm sorry you didn't see that right away and that it made you feel you didn't know me at all because you're the only person in this world who does. You still feel like you're mine, only I can't have you and it kills me. Look, I know ends mean over but can't I say again I don't want it to be over? I can't change the reason it is, but if we could talk about it....

"I love you, DeeDee. Even if you never speak to me again, I need you to know it. I love you. Bye."

Kurt could think of a million reasons why he loved her, and she could think of a million reasons it was so hard to stop loving him. He was kind and compassionate; there was never a day so chaotic he didn't make time for her in it, never a day so tough that he hid his feelings from her. That he shared so much with her made her feel special and cherished, so much so that she hadn't realized she was sharing so much of him with someone else. She'd been miserable without him, but she knew she'd be miserable with him.

If settling for Bob was what Natasha was doing, what did it matter if she was happy? For that reason, as they continued to drive with the greying afternoon sky growing steadily darker outside the windows, DeeDee wordlessly tapped Bob's shoulder with her box of French Creams and offered him another.