"not as much as I love you"

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I was still so weirded out by the surprise visit from Elaine. I'd spaced myself from Rudy for some reason but in my heart I couldn't be near him. My head keeps playing with images of him and her together. I scroll through Elaine's Instagram. I stop at a post of her and Rudy. 

 el.siemek_1 (by the way this is just something random I came up with, not actually her Insta)


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#rudypankow #love #boyfriend #couple goals #danceoff

Me and Rudy's fun dance time!

Comments >

rudypankow: we had so much fun!! I love you El!

joyjoy123: so cute together!!!!!!! <3333

leilaaa: #singleanddepressed

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I sigh. They looked so happy. Had I ruined an amazing relationship? Reading Rudy's comment on that post made my heart ache. He loved her. Maybe he still loves her. A knock on my door makes me jump. "Y/n/n! You there?" Rudy's muffled voice calls from the outside of the trailer. I get up and open the door, putting my phone on the desk. "Hey baby." He hugs me, stepping into the trailer. I reluctantly hug him back. "You've been ignoring me. Why?" He asks, closing the door. I say nothing and study the floor of my trailer for a few seconds. "What is this about?" He asks, reaching for my shoulder. He hesitates and backs off. Then he looks to my desk. Shit, I forgot to turn off my phone! He picks it up before I could get it.

"Elaine?" He sighs. I look down. "Y/n you have no need to be worried..I'm over Elaine.." He reassures me. "Ok." I whisper. He comes over and hugs me. "Do-did you love her a lot?" I ask her.  "Not as much as I love you." He says. My heart is racing. "You love me?" I ask him. "Do you love me?" He asks.

"Yes," I smile, "I love you, Rudy Pankow." I say. He smiles too. I get on my toes and kiss him.

I love him.


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