how would you feel | namjin

6

you really thought i didn't see that?

seokjin, i think i know you more than i know myself.

i'm sorry.

i k̶n̶o̶w̶ don't know why i said that.

i'm sorry i'm causing you pain.

i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm so-  

-̵̙͕͖̟͇̣̔̏̉͘͜-̵̠͈̓̆̅͛͋̔-̸͙̘̎-̵̧̙̱̤̜̈́̈̂̄́͒̕͝ͅ-̶̩̙̣͉̂͛́-̴̖̞͉̬̻̟̗̻̪͂̽͜͝-̴̢̧͈̭̪͍͌̉͋͒͆͐̒̈́̕̕ͅ 

"namjoon?"

"yes?"

"have you ever been to a relationship?" y̶o̶u̶ seokjin had said. sipping from his cup, currently folding his legs in order to sit comfortably on the couch he's been used to sitting for months now.

"why have you asked?" namjoon replied back with a question, drinking his own beverage.

"nothing. just came across my mind, that's all."

namjoon had looked at seokjin, trying to find anything to rather shift the conversation with that instead. but alas, he ended up with nothing, resulting in him having to answer the question.

"well," namjoon had put down his cup and wiped off his hands.

"to answer your question. if you're talking about serious relationships, no, haven't been in one."

"why?"

"just feel like i'm not made for it, i hate both repetitiveness and change." namjoon had explained with seokjin having no idea on where namjoon is leading this conversation to.

"how does that one correlate? sorry if i'm asking too much questions." seokjin shifted in his seat, trying to face his body to namjoon all while also trying to be comfortable.

"it's alright. well for one, if things get too repetitive, you expect a person who hates it to leave." seokjin had nodded, slowly getting the idea of his friend.

"but that requires change. do you get what i mean? like-" namjoon laughed, finding it hard to explain everything. but he knows that seokjin already gets what he is talking about.

"how could you get out of the sequence that you hate if the only solution requires the one thing you also hate."

"exactly! finally, someone gets me." namjoon took his cup one again and sipped the now lukewarm coffee.

someone understands him now.

he smiled.

-̵̙͕͖̟͇̣̔̏̉͘͜-̵̠͈̓̆̅͛͋̔-̸͙̘̎-̵̧̙̱̤̜̈́̈̂̄́͒̕͝ͅ-̶̩̙̣͉̂͛́-̴̖̞͉̬̻̟̗̻̪͂̽͜͝-̴̢̧͈̭̪͍͌̉͋͒͆͐̒̈́̕̕ͅ

"i'm sorry."

"what?" you had said, cheeks still glistening from the previous tears you had shed.

"just, i-" struggling to find words, i chose to hug you tighter.

when you hugged me back, i knew instantly that you understood.

what did i ever do to meet such a wonderful person like you?