Hormones

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"No, Maya. You can't understand because you're not the one who's pregnant. It's too easy for you," Carina said gruffly.

"Yes, Carina. I'm not pregnant so I'm less of a mother than you are?", Maya raised her voice.

"I never said that. I never said that you were less of a mother. I said that you weren't pregnant... That's all", Carina also raised her voice. Her face was red.

"Okay, I feel bad enough for not being able to go through this for you, but...", the firefighter started to speak.

"...You didn't want to be a mother. Say it, Maya, say that you only did it because I pressured you", the Italian confronted.

"Oh my God, Carina. I've told you a thousand times that I chose this, but it seems you'll never understand," the blonde said hurtfully, letting out a breath of air. "I have to go now. I have a lot of things to do here," Maya said, not giving Carina time to continue talking. The whole thing about her having changed her mind about the baby had her nerves on edge.

"Argh!", Maya roared in rage as she stared at the phone.

"What happened?", Andy approached, laughing at her friend's reaction.

"It's Carina... She's driving me crazy...", Maya complained.

"Hormones?" Andy leaned against the wall in front of her friend.

"Yes. And now everything that happens is my fault... And I've been trying to be as patient as possible because I love her and I want her to go through this in the most comfortable way, but there are days when I just don't want to be in the same room as her...", the firefighter spoke so euphorically that her face reddened.

"It will pass," Andy comforted her.

"I hope so because right now she's about to drive me crazy," Maya finally laughed. "I confess that at first I really didn't want to be a mother, you know that. But now...now I can't wait for the moment that our baby will be with us and...sometimes I don't even recognize myself because I find myself thinking on what their little face will look like and the smell of their hair", Maya confessed with a silly smile on her face.

Carina was just past her first trimester, but her house was already full of baby clothes and her life has completely revolved around Carina and that new life.

"You're going to be a great mom. I'm sure," her friend squeezed her shoulder.

Maya forced a smile. She still had insecurities about the baby's arrival, but she tried not to focus on them all the time.

The phone rings again.

"Oh no. She's calling me again. The worst thing is, if I don't answer she might come here to kill me in person," Maya said before holding the phone in front of her face to answer her wife's video call.

"I'm sorry, bambina. I'm sorry, I'm sorry...", Carina said, crying profusely.

"Hey, hey, what is this? What happened?", Maya said scared to see her wife's face bathed in tears.

"I should never have said that to you. Never... I was wrong... I know you love our baby... I know that and... and I'm sorry, bambina. I swear. I just I'm very emotional and... these hormones don't let me think straight. But... Excuse me, please?", Carina said, sniffling between one word and another.

"Hey, breathe... it's okay. It's okay," Maya said trying to calm the woman down.

"I just... I didn't want you to be sad because... I love you... I love you so much... and I was just angry", the brunette spoke and with her tears increased.

"No, don't be like that. I'm fine and I love you. I love you and our baby, okay?", Maya looked complacently at her wife. She just wanted to take the wife in her arms and run her fingers through her hair until she stopped crying.

"Promise that you're not angry or sad?", the brunette's crying began to cease.

"I promise. I promise." Maya cracked a smile. At that moment she didn't even remember the argument from moments before. Just seeing his wife calm down made her happy.

"I don't want to be here alone, bambina. I miss you...", the brunette suddenly spoke with sad eyes. It felt like the pregnancy caused all her feelings to be multiplied.

"Hey, hey... Don't cry. You can come here and stay with me if you want? It's very calm today and I can be glued to you...", Maya said excitedly.

"But... you told me you had a lot of work," Carina remembered what the blonde had said.

"I'm sorry... it was just that... I didn't want to argue with you anymore", Maya said trying not to hurt her wife.

"I'm the worst right now... I know... and you can't stand me anymore... say it, Maya", the brunette pouted.

"No, my love. Of course it's not true", Maya tried to get around the situation. "Please come?" she said pleading with her eyes. Now she didn't want her wife to stay home alone all day.

"Do you really want me to go?", the brunette gave a sad smile.

"Of course," the blonde confirmed.

"I can bring croissants and cappuccinos and we can go to the rooftop and have coffee together," the brunette flashed a passionate smile.

"Of course we can," Maya stared at her wife for a moment. She loved so much.

"I love you... Bambina, I love you", the tears started to roll again in the brunette's eyes.

"Hey, will you stop crying please?...", Maya laughed.

"I don't know if I can... They just roll down... Do you think it's going to be like this for the next 4 months, Maya?", the Italian said scared.

"I don't know, my love. But you don't have to worry because I'll be here with you all the time," the firefighter comforted her.

"You don't want to divorce me because I'm all emotional?" the brunette said like a hurt child.

"I won't. I promise."

"Are you sure?", Carina insisted.

"That's the only certainty I have: you", now it was the firefighter who had teary eyes. She didn't even realize it, but all that wave of Carina's emotions sometimes felt like it was contagious and women found themselves teary-eyed as they looked at the baby clothes taking up space in her dresser drawers.

Maya took a deep breath to keep the tears from flowing and continued to speak:

"I can pick you up there if you're not feeling well enough to drive... I'll manage around here."

"No, bambina... I'm fine. I'll be there
in a moment...", Carina said putting a smile on her face still wet with tears.

****

AN: It's been a while since I posted here. But here I am so... let me know If tou like the shots so I can keep posting.

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