fragments | bang chan

ii.

That apartment was long gone.

Chan had moved out quite a while ago to move into your apartment with you, and not too long afterwards Changbin and Jisung had moved out as well. There were tons of memories attached to that place. But why were you thinking about it now? The goodbyes had been said months and months ago, your sorrowful farewells blowing away in the wind.

You shook your head and brought your cigarette back to your lips to take another long drag. The smoke billowed out from your cracked lips, the gentle summer breeze making it seemingly disappear into thin air. The night was warmer than usual, and if Chan were home then you would both surely be seated in front of your old fan, cursing yourselves for not renting an apartment with air conditioning. But of course, he wasn't home. Again.

You looked behind you just to make sure. The balcony was empty, and the open curtains revealed an empty apartment. There were signs of life, clothes strewn about and dishes in the sink. But the physical appearance of human existence in the apartment was not enough, and you couldn't help but acknowledge the painful tugging in your chest when you realized that you would likely be sleeping alone again tonight. You stubbed out your cigarette prematurely, the tobacco making your mouth feel dry and your tongue taste sour, a usually bearable occurrence. Pulling out your phone to check your messages, the blinking light revealed that it was nearly four in the morning.

And there were still no messages from Chan.
You reluctantly opened the balcony door and let yourself in, making sure to lock the door behind you. Shuffling across the main room, you carefully picked up the loose clothes that all belonged to you and made your way to the bedroom to toss them into the laundry hamper. The room was a bit of a mess too, with more clothes of yours littering the floor and comfy armchair in the corner. Rubbing your eyes, you picked up every piece of clothing and tossed them along with the others into the hamper. Chan would always be on your ass about leaving clothes around, teasing that you reminded him of Jisung and Changbin, who could be real slobs sometimes. But lately, Chan hadn't been home long enough to register the mess.

Restless, you did the dishes and tidied up the apartment even more, but hesitated when your fingers wrapped around the thick handle of a chipped white mug with faded letters on it reading "#1 Dad" in thick black font, with little red hearts surrounding the statement. You almost smiled at the memory of the mug.

Bright sunlight streamed through the curtain-less window, eventually becoming too much to ignore even though your bed was the comfiest it had ever felt. You opened your eyes and immediately knew you'd have to resort to some sort of remedy, as your eyes felt dry, hot, and puffy. You smacked your lips, your tongue feeling just as dry, and you groped around for a water bottle, but couldn't find your nightstand. You rubbed your eyes roughly, making them sting and water, but finally realized that you weren't in your bed. You immediately jumped up, and checked your clothes. You were still dressed in your outfit from last night, thank goodness, and your underwear was still on. You breathed a sigh of relief, and squinted at the sunlight once again, wondering who in the world would dismiss having curtains. You quickly swung your legs over the side of the bed and did your best to make the bed, smoothing out the wrinkles in the sheets and trying to ignore the steadily growing headache that had started to make itself extremely present. Gathering your things, you crept over to the closed door and hoped to make a quick exit, only to almost run into a muscular chest. You yelped and fell backwards back onto the bed, and the man reached out for you, his fingers ghosting over yours.

"Are you okay?" he asked, worriedly. You blearily sat up and stared at the man whose home and bed you had invaded. He had kind eyes, which were now tinged with worry, and short black hair that was damp, obviously from a shower. He wore a loose fitting black t-shirt and sweats, and his cheeks were growing pinker as you kept staring. "Ah... are you okay?" he repeated the question awkwardly.