fragments | bang chan

viii.

You ran your fingers along the uneven scars on your knees. They had healed quickly due to your and Chan's constant attention to them (he had stayed home for the next week or so to make it up to you as well) but the tissue still scarred. It was quite unnoticeable unless you really came close and looked at your legs, and unless people had seen you with the fresh injuries, they usually looked right past it. Your hands had healed too, without sustaining any permanent marks. You wondered if the cut on your face would scar. After taking another peek in the mirror, you decided that it most likely scar, but you quickly pushed that thought out of mind, still angered by your own stupidity.

You were still slightly flustered at the embarrassing memory that had taken place in the exact room you were currently in. Apart from discussing it the day after, you had never brought it up again, and you cringed when thinking back to how hard you cried, and how you must have looked while doing it. Face flushed from the memory, you stood up and exited the bathroom.

You needed another smoke.

Making your way out to the balcony again, you lazily lit up a cigarette and held it to your lips and took a long drag, feeling the smoke fill up your lungs. Your nerves were soothed as you inhaled deeply, and as you relaxed, you felt your eyes starting to feel heavy. It was time to go to sleep without Chan again.
You stubbed out your cigarette nub and made your way back to the bathroom to brush your teeth again, disliking the residual taste of tobacco that seemed to cling to your gums.

After rinsing your mouth and making sure that the nasty taste of tobacco was completely gone, you climbed into bed, nestling yourself comfortably on your side. You looked over at Chan's side of the bed again, even though you knew that the only thing you would get out of that would be hurt. And it did hurt. You found yourself missing the way he would jump into bed and cling to you like a baby koala, peppering your face with wet kisses as you would laugh and try to push him off half-heartedly, secretly enjoying the affection. Instead of substituting Chan with your mountain of pillows like you usually did, you drifted off to sleep alone and clinging to nothing but your bittersweet memories.

"You're off today? I thought you had to go in and record some stuff with the guys," you said, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

"I wasn't feeling great last night so Jisung and Changbin said that we could put off recording the new stuff for now and they would work on something else," Chan said, burying his face into his pillow.

"Oh." You swung your legs over the edge of the bed and started making your way to the bathroom.

Chan looked up sleepily at your departing figure. "Where are you going? Come back to bed."

"I made plans for today, I thought you weren't going to be home," you said, but walked back over to Chan's side of the bed and kissed him on the cheek.

"Cancel the plans and stay home with me," he said, taking your hand in his and rubbing gentle circles into your palm.

"I can't," you said, feeling a little disappointed in yourself, "besides, I really want to go out. It's been a while."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Just for a few hours, we're gonna go shopping and then probably get lunch. By the looks of it, you'll still be sleeping by the time I get back," you teased, poking his dimple.

The assaulted dimple deepened itself as he smiled into his pillow, eyes still closed. "Maybe. I am really tired after all," he chuckled.

"I'll be right back, I'm gonna shower okay?" you said, ruffling his hair.