OUTCAST CHAPTER: NINE
"It won't matter how loud you love if the other person isn't listening."
Jung's condition worsened each day, Del's friends, happened to be Diana, Susan and Herman. They had been friends of Del and as well as Jung's. They 'innocently' kept pestering Jung to murder Eun, because she was his Psychiatrist. and she tried to help him, 'You don't need her Jung, She is useless, she is just making money off you.!" One of the many lies the 'friends of del' told him. It was harder for him to control, so they decided to give him an insulin shock (Mainly insulin shock therapy, or insulin-coma-therapy, is used on patients who have schizophrenia and is given a high dosage of insulin which drastically reduces the sugar in the blood, resulting in a temporary coma.)
Jung was slowly brought to the room and laid on the bed with him conscious. "Let go! Let me go!" Jung protested, but unveiled it since he was chained. The doctors injected the insulin, and the process began. Jung trembled uncontrollably. He tried screaming from the pain, but he was too tired to. They placed a device inside his mouth, which prevented him from screaming. "Augus, Is this...Right?" Eun asked the kind elder brother outside, "Yes, he has to get a grasp on reality. Or else, everything will crumble him, even worse, lead to suicide." Eun's sad smile faded completely at that one word. Suicide. That's the only word she hated more than the worst curses to exist. She glanced at the boy who trembled and shook uncontrollably at the sudden shocks. Eun couldn't handle it and walked away. She did not possess the strength for this.
Eun skipped slowly to the room, from her study room. She was about to pass her big shelf full of books when a box fell, Eun rolled her eyes, "Jesus, I gotta pick all this, how much fun." Eun spoke sarcastically since she was too tired. It was then she noticed the red diary. The diary of Eun Dal. Her dead sister. Eun picked it up with trembling hands and opened it.
Kim Dal's secret diary.
Opening- 2001| 28| 02 (Format is YYYY| DD| MM)
Gudday, to my dear diary,
Today is the day before my birthday. Yep, 1st of March. I got this diary as an early birthday gift. Oh would you look at that, Jesus, I don't have the strength to deal with Areum, She keeps being too annoying, But I love her all the same. Do you feel the same? I've been friends with Dae-Sung, He said his name means 'completed' And I've felt completed all the same. Sadly, neither Eun nor Eomma can see him. I feel bad, but I'll end this entry with a poem.
Friend
It shines on me,
The moon that is me.
I was the crescent, and you completed me.
I felt happy, and joyful, But do you bring pain?
Friend, do you bring pain?
Love without heart-breaks is like roses without thorns, It doesn't make sense.
Friend, Does it to you?
I don't know, I am just a lonely moon, You're the earth, The earth I treasure. -Kim Dal.. =D
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Eun's eyes filled with tears as she read her sister's innocent review of the schizophrenic side of herself. She then flipped to the last page, The last entry before her suicide.
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2016 | 17 | 12 – Eun Dal's last entry, (sorry diary.)
Farewell Diary,
Every day, someone says goodbye. It has been 2 years since my mother said her goodbye to me and Arum. I clearly remember the words she said before she told us to go to school.
"Dal, please look after your lovely younger sister, I really treasure the both of you, Don't fight, please don't, Aunt Mi-Sun (name of Mrs Eun) will take care of you, She'll adopt you, Because I'm saying my last goodbye to you, Kim Dal and Kim Areum, Please be happy and live your life to the full without stopping it in the middle." I trembling looked at my lovely mother, "w-where are-you going e-eomma." She smiled and patted my head. "When you come home, I'll take away your worst nightmare, Your father won't hurt us, He won't not again."
That was the last thing she said before we left. When we came back. She was already hanging on the fan, Dead. With the corpse of our father, Who mercilessly abused me and Areum, And my mother, I saw how Areum dropped to her knees and cried out loudly. I was helpless, Daesung Was there, he just smiled sadly and stood next to me. I went to Mrs Eun, our neighbour, And told her everything. She then decided to adopt us, So now I am Eun Dal, not Kim Dal. I saw how Daesung changed and started telling me to kill Areum. Oh, he is pestering me to do so, now as well.
I am seventeen now, But the pain is still the same. He gives pain and joy, I can't help it. I've strangled Areum a lot. I wounded her a lot, I don't want to hurt my lovely sister. Where did we go wrong? Father., Where did you go wrong? 10 years ago, We were a happy family, Father never shouted at us. Now, we are all broken. Shattered. Hurt. I'm not living again. I'm deciding to stop. I cannot. This is too much. I can't. The pain is too much to take. It hurts. It hurts everywhere. Like every time, I'm ending this entry with a poem, Only difference, It is The ending, truly an ending, an ending to Kim Dal who is Eun Dal's Life. Totally. I cannot hurt anyone, No one should cry because of me.
Pain
Butterfly, like a butterfly
You tickled my weak heart.
It fluttered, But you're a butterfly
So fragile, so beautiful That I am scared,
I can't lose you, nor protect you.
You're too beautiful that I'm scared, I'm scared
The pain is like torture.
I can't stand it, it pains too much,
Too bad, I want to give up, but can't.
I know, I'm sick.
I'm hurt,
All broken,
Into shreds,
Can't fix it,
Can't repair,
Until you come again.
I'll be broken,
I'll not take it anymore.
I'm coming,
I'm giving up, I've tried too hard, I'm tired.
I'm sorry, I can't bear it.
-Eun Dal ( 2011 | 12 | 17 ) -original by Yunie
Eun couldn't take it anymore. She broke down into loud sobs, Her knees felt weak as she fell to the floor, She cried. Too painful, Too broken. "I was also hurt! W-why did you d-do this?!" Eun shouted at the dairy. Now an old rotten book which held the most precious memories. "Eun? Are you here?" Augus, who visited Eun, came inside using his spare key. "Eun? What are yo- Gosh Eun, What happened?!" Augus ran to Eun and held her as he led her to the bed. "E-Eun, Why are you crying?" Eun kept sobbing loudly, giving no heed to Augus's question. Augus sighed, and put her head on his shoulder and let her cry
