Heartbreak Girl ~ Nathan Sykes Fanfic~ [English Version]

Chapter 63

The lads arrived from their 'mini tour' two days ago and tomorrow is Nathan's birthday and the things between us are the same or worse.

I thought about what Miranda told me and I decided that I will go to visit my sister who lives in Australia. The flight is two days after Nathan's birthday.

It will be nice visiting my sister since I haven't shared with her for ages and also I could see Ashton and the boys there. Maybe I'll enjoy my vacations being with Ashton and his 'petite', with Luke and his overthought questions, Michael with his rainbow in his head (he dyes his hair often, but it suits him) and Calum with his smile.

One part of me didn't want to go, wanted to fix things with Nathan, but the other part said like it had tried everything and was anxious to arrive in Australia.

Its 11:40pm and I have like two hours sitting in this chair. Doing what? Writing a letter to Nathan.

Because he doesn't want to see me, I won't risk messing his birthday by talking to him, but in a way I had to express everything I felt and notify him about my flight.

I had written a lot of pages but they all ended up in the trash can. Why is it so difficult to express my feelings?

So I tried to find something that would've made me feel confident about what I was going to write. I took my phone and I started to see the photos from backstage, the texts he had sent me. I remembered when we almost kissed under the stars but it started to rain, also when I woke up wrapped around his arms. When I fell asleep in his shoulder and when he called me and woke me up. When he went to visit the school, and when I found the other letter that he had saved from years ago.

I was crying, but I was ready to write. And I started.

'Dear Nathan,

I decided to take this media to express so many things that I've got deeply saved in my being, and that maybe I had to have told you about them before.

I would like to start with the photos and the things in relation with Dionne. Everything happened a day before going camping, I went witb Ashton to a party. There I saw Dionne kissing another one and the first thing that came to my mind was to show it to you, but a while later I found out that she made you happy and J didn't want to take away your happiness. I wasn't making fun of you, she caused me pain too.

Another subject, and maybe the most important of all is about my feelings. Nathan, I, since like four years ago I feel something for you. And from time to time it has grown. Since I saw you for the first time at school until the day you said that you weren't desiring to talk with me.

When you left school, I lived sad because I didn't  know where in the world were you. And one day I find out that you were part of a band and that you were going to perform here. I decided I had to see you once again, and the story since then you know it.

Everyday, since I wake up until when I go to bed,  I think about you. When I saw you with Dionne, I felt so bad, but when you insulted me I felt even worse. When I saw you smiling, I smiled as well.

You cause so much feelings in me, but because the things between us won't be the same at least for now, I've decided that I want to visit my sister in Australia for some months. I thought I was going to spend the summer with you and the boys, but I have figured out that it won't be that way.

I loved being able to share more with you, but just in case you forgive me I'm leaving in two days, you have time. I'm sorry honestly for hidding everything, but better later than never.

I wish you a happg birthday, and if this letter messed it up, it wasn't my intention, I just had to express everything eventually.

I loved you yesterday, I love you today and I'm so sure that I'll keep loving you tomorrow.

Farewell,

______.

P.S. If you realised, yes I am the anonymous writer of the other letter.'

And I decided it was complete. It was almost 1:00am. And I decided to put tthe letter in an envelope and close it. I left it on top of my little table beside my bed, and the I layed in bed with Vampy(I've taken too much affection).

Tomorrow will be a difficult day, but it won't be as much as when I'll leave.

________________________

What do you think?

See you in the next chapter :)