↱FORBIDDEN COLORS↲ ⇾seongjoong⇽

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Instead of flying from Kyoto to Osaka for their next concert, the boys all packed into a nice bus to make the trip; equipment and crew following separately.

In a way it was nice — almost felt like a road trip to Seonghwa, kinda like how things used to feel before the fame really began to hit them.

The highway rushed past as they turned onto the interstate and Seonghwa skipped a song playing through his headphones, letting his gaze drift.

To say Seonghwa had wanted to sit by Hongjoong would be a gigantic understatement.

As they were all piling in, the desire was so twisted into his motivations that he was trying to time the simple action of getting on the bus perfectly so that he could casually slide in next to Hongjoong without it having to mean a single thing.

Realizing how childish he was being, Seonghwa made himself sit in the row behind the boy, feeling Yeosang slide in next to him with an excited noise that didn't truly constitute as any language.

Things had been easy at first, with Yeosang talking, and then Yunho behind him, and then Wooyoung yelling at them to be quiet for like five seconds while San flipped through a book where he sat by Hongjoong, who seemed dead to the world outside whatever was playing through his headphones.

But the noise and excitement had swiftly died down as Seonghwa found himself leaning against the window, feeling the lurch and tug of the vehicle they sat in.

Ahead, Hongjoong had turned in his seat, back to the wall, the back of his head resting on a pillow pressed against the window as he slouched, his seatbelt twisted carelessly around him.

From this position, Seonghwa could stare at him without getting caught, could let his gaze drift over the soft skin, the subtle slop from his forehead to his nose, the darkness hidden behind his eyelashes — just Hongjoong.

Seonghwa could let his gaze fall on Hongjoong and not have to really worry, because if anyone pointed it out, he could say he zoned out staring at the seat and unless Hongjoong turned his head, he wouldn't even be able to catch Seonghwa.

It was nice to pretend for a moment that Seonghwa could actually have him.

It had been two days since Seonghwa had kissed Hongjoong.

Which, he didn't regret necessarily – he wasn't sure he was capable of regretting it – but just like all of their other encounters, there was something undeniably misplaced about it.

Like it wasn't real somehow.

Like even though Seonghwa had kissed him and he'd kissed back, it was like a 'what if' playing out in reality rather than anything Seonghwa could actually hold on to.

It matters, Hongjoong had said.

And it felt like it mattered.

But it also felt like it couldn't matter just yet.

Hongjoong's 'someday' was echoing in his mind and Seonghwa wanted to believe.

Wanted to hold onto it and be patient, wait it out, do it right.

But someday was so vague, so easily lost, because how long was that supposed to be?