Isolation

Failure to communicate

Peter was left stunned. What was he supposed to say to that? Mike lifted his head and rested it on his knees, looking back out into the distance.

"It's so hard," he sighed, getting Peter's attention.

"Hey, but it's okay, though," he put a hand on Mike's shoulder, smiling slightly. "We're all here to go through it together, aren't we?"

Mike didn't respond.

"Right?"

"Right, what?" He glanced at Peter with sad and confused eyes.

Peter sighed, he hated to see Mike like this, but he kept his brave smile.

"Life is hard, but you don't have to do it alone. You have us, and we want to help you if you don't feel good."

Mike smiled for a second, but it didn't last. He pulled away from Peter and returned his gaze out into the distance. After too long of silence, Mike spoke again.

"The way it was..." he sighed to himself before closing his eyes and shaking his head. "No."

"No?"

He nodded.

"No. Can't. Can't be."

Tears filled in Peter's eyes as he watched Mike mentally slip away right in front of his eyes. He had to stay strong, though. For Mike's sake, he had to.

"Can't be?" He asked, hoping Mike would clarify. He didn't.

"I can't..." he whispered, looking down.

"What can't you do, Michael?"

"Can't tell."

He looked down, shaking his head, and Peter tried again to place an arm around Mike.

"You can tell me. I only wanna help."

Mike shook his head and pulled away.

"Not...can't. No. You...you can't." He said carefully. As if it was hard to put the words together.

"I can't?" Peter asked sadly, and Mike nodded, still blindly staring off. "What can't I do?"

"Can't-can't help."

"I can't help you?" He nodded. "Why not?"

"Just can't."

"Okay," he looked down, but another thought came into his head. "Can Davy or Micky or anyone else help?"

Mike shook his head.

"No, can't."

He finally turned to look at him. Peter felt the tears return when he saw just how dull and empty Mike's eyes were. He wasn't there at all. Mike frowned and turned away again.

"What is it?"

Peter tried to face Mike. But anytime he caught his gaze, Mike would turn the other way.

"Mike, can you look at me?"

"No."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Not you." He ran his hand through his hair, looking down.

"Well, what're you mad about then?"

"Don't understand," he sighed and shook his head. Peter frowned.

"I don't understand? Or you don't understand?"

Mike didn't say anything. He shook his head, becoming furious. Peter was quick to try and comfort him.

"Hey, it's alright."

"You!" Mike exclaimed after a while, pushing Peter away. "You, you, you."

"Me?" It took him a second to put the pieces together. "Oh, I don't understand? Well, I'll try my best to understand. But you have to tell me what's wrong first."

Mike looked back at Peter, shaking his head, and stood with a sigh.

"Alone."

"Alone?" Peter was quick to get to his feet as Mike began pacing around, his hands on top of his head.

He stopped suddenly and turned to look at Peter, tears in his eyes.

"You-you-" he pointed at the pad, "you-you...you and with them! No, don't-don't care, don't understand. I alone. Always alone. Can't speak it. Just hang around for ride."

Mike stared at Peter, trying one last time to get him to understand through his look. When he saw he was failing, he sighed and shook his head, becoming frustrated. "No, can't. Can't speak it, can't understand, can't help. Always alone. Fool, me!" He crumbled back onto the ground, burying his face deep in his hands.

"Alone," he kept repeating the word to himself. Peter hated seeing Mike like this, so frightened and confused. He wanted to help but didn't know the right way to do so. Mike was right, Peter didn't understand, but that didn't stop him from slowly getting onto his knees to face Mike, ready to help in the only way he knew how.

"You're not alone, Mike," he said softly. "I'm sorry if we ever made you feel like you were. We do care about you, don't ever let anything tell you otherwise. But it won't happen again, okay?"

"Again?" Mike looked up, physically shaking at the idea. Peter smiled sympathetically and took Mike's hands in his.

"No, Michael. Not again. Never again."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Mike thought for a little while before looking down and nodding. Peter smiled and pulled him into a hug.

"It'll be alright, Mike. Don't worry about it. It's hard and scary, but we have each other. And we can do this."

Mike didn't say anything but returned the hug. Not too long after, his head sunk deeper into Peter's shoulder, and his arms, wrapped around Peter's back, began to slip.

"Mike...?" Peter asked softly, getting no response. He carefully slipped out of the hug. He pushed Mike off and held him upright by his shoulders. Not thinking about it, Peter let go of him, only for Mike to collapse back into him, almost knocking both over.

"Mike!" He gasped, able to catch him in time. He shook him gently. "Mike, say something if you can hear me."

Once again, Peter got nothing. Mike was out.

"Guys?!" He called out, hoping they'd hear since he couldn't move with Mike on top of him. "Micky?! Davy?! Little help, please!"