Tiny Dancer

Evicted

"Dad, who the hell are these assholes?"

"Shit."

"Uncle Ben," Grace cheered as she waved her hand at Ben, only to receive a grossed out look from him.

 I stepped forward from in between Diego and Klaus, tears forming in my eyes,"Ben, is that really you?

 "Who are the weirdos on the balcony," Diego asked, his voice getting louder. 

"They are the Sparrows," Dad spoke up, answering the question,"my children."

There was a moment of silence as us Umbrellas looked at the people that have seemed to have taken our place, Grace's head tilted as she stared at the cube.

"It's not polite to stare baby," I whispered in her ear.

"Right, sorry momma," she whispered back, directing her view to the rude version of Ben.

Everyone else's view turned to dad,"I'm sorry, what do you mean, your children," Five finally spoke up,"that's not possible, old man."

"Of course it is! I think I'd know, wouldn't I?"

Our attention turns back to the other people in the room, who have now left the balcony and were right in front of us. No words escaping our mouths, no one having a clue of what to do or to say.

"Everybody else can see Ben, right," Klaus said as he gestured to Ben.

"Cute hat, Sundance," rude Ben snapped back, receiving a tip of a hat from Klaus.

"They call themselves the Umbrella Academy, a group of scheming, perfidious malcontents who accosted me in the fall of 1963 when I was away on business in Dallas," dad explained to the other academy,"be warned, they claim to be my spawn."

"Claim," Allison repeats in a pissed off tone before turning away from dad,"look, Five, what the hell is going on?"

"I don't know yet, but it's concerning," he mumbles, his eyes never leaving dad.

"Is he telling the truth," one of the Sparrows asked.

"Not the part about us being perfidious," Vanya spoke up.

No, we're amateur-fidious, at best," Klaus chimed in, receiving a glare from me .

"But we are his children. This is our house."

"Yeah, yeah. We, uh... We grew up here," Luther stuttered

"Yeah, we grew up here," mocked one of the sparrows, causing chuckles to scatter the room.

"I kind of think we would have noticed you," another sparrow stated.

"Hi. I'm Luther," said Luther with his stupid puppy eyes.

"Luther this is not the time for you to be thinking to get your dick wet," I snapped, feeling my patience slip.

"Okay. None of you belong here," Allison interrupted before Luther could say anything back.

"Oh! Well, then. I guess we'll just pack our bags and move out," the sparrow with sunglasses replied.

The cube starts to garble, which causes the Sparrows to start chuckling,"you slay me, Chris," rude Ben chuckled.

All of us heard a clicking of heels and our attention turned to the doorway, it was mom, but it wasn't in her normal heartwarming and comforting 50's house wife persona, it was the robot that she truly meant to be.

"I wasn't expecting company. This is the best I could do on short, short... short notice," mom stuttered and glitched in a robotic tone.

"Mom," I whispered.