LOVING HIM

CHAPTER 13

💕🌈

Inside Irving's car, Rian finally spoke of his private, most deeply felt emotions to his supervisor. He poured his heart out, finally trying to get that heavy weight off his chest somehow. The liberating feeling was massive. It felt good, almost therapeutic to finally be able to tell other people the things, both bad and good, that he went through in the past. He shared everything about his family, his parents, and even about his brother Anthony.

Lastly, he shared about Nathan.

He saw how Mr. Carreon's eyes widened when he told him he's gay, and that his first relationship was with Mr. Asentista's nephew, who apparently didn't end well. And not once did Rian see any ridicule nor judgment in his boss's face and he's grateful. With tears in his eyes and a heart once again shattered into pieces, he went on. He told him how Nathan's family didn't approve of their relationship but the hard-headed young man disobeyed them all and chose him instead.

"He was out of my league but I loved him. I sincerely loved him. I was the happiest when he told me he loved me as well. He accepted my past. He accepted my brother. We were happy. But he left and never came back..." Rian sniffled between words.

He wiped his face and continued. "He promised he'll come back but he never did. No calls, no messages, nothing. Even until now, I still have no idea what happened to him. Mr. Asentista said Nathan's happy now and that he already forgot about me. Why? Why did he suddenly forget about me? About us? What did I do? Where did we go wrong?"

More tears fell down Rian's sorrowful face. "I thought I moved on. I thought... I thought..." Rian trailed off as he clenched his fist.

Irving could only stare at Rian's miserable state, itching to hit the steering wheel or just about anything. He's mad that he couldn't do a thing about Rian's ceaseless tears. He's mad about everything that he went through. It felt as if Irving's heart was being ripped apart. The pain the he himself felt was penetrating. The thought of Rian struggling to move on from his painful past was excruciating. The younger man had been through hell and he obviously wasn't able to come out of it still.

Irving never felt like this for anyone and he had no idea how to handle the overwhelming feelings stirring inside of him. He's confused. He's baffled. He's hurt.

Should he hug Rian? Should he meet Mr. Asentista and force him to tell the truth about Nathan? Rian needed closure or whatever it's called and he fucking couldn't get it for so long already. The world indeed can be cruel and unfair to the most undeserving people.

Irving stared at Rian again, he was still whimpering.

Irving gritted his teeth and cursed in his head.

"I'm not a bad person. I only want to be happy. Why do I get hurt again and again?" Rian muttered, tears relentless and unyielding.

In the end, Irving couldn't hold himself back any longer.

Without saying anything, he leaned closer and hugged the younger man again, his big hands carefully and gently caressing his back and his head. All this time, Rian was hiding painful memories and Irving regretted giving this poor boy a hard time when they met. He finally understood why Nana was so protective of him.

Rian also went closer and snaked his arms around Irving's warm body, seeking the familiar comfort that Irving surprisingly brought to him. Irving's heart leapt. He hugged Rian even tighter. No word was ever spoken again, just their hearts beating fast and the comforting silence of the night.

Irving had been giving the younger man hugs these days and surprisingly, he wasn't feeling weird about it. In fact, it felt calming. Holding Rian close like that felt... different. He couldn't put it in words. It was something very different but gratifying all at the same time.