"If by Chance"

Chapter 9.

Mon POV.

"Doesn't mean I told Irin those things,you'll believe it.."

I say it in a calm way, we're already here at her car and she's still silent while driving..

"Khun Sam,talk to me please.."

I really don't like the way she look right now,it looks like she's in pain and I'm confused and worried at the same time..

She doesn't feel the same way as I do,right?

I know all of those things that she made with me is just a part of her games,I may not know her for a long time but I know how she thinks..she like one night stand eversince-i overheard it last time when they're talking at the dining area,she said she had a one night stand with their Prof in college and she wants P'Dew to get rid of her because she don't want to leave her unit..

I know she's just playing,I even saw her kissing another girl at her car last time but I didn't say it to her,I don't have the right anyways..

I know I'm just one of her toys and that's why I'm doubting her and I keep denying my feelings.

"You're doubting me??"

She ask me as soon as she stop the car infront of Praya Kitchen..

She look at me with her tired eyes,it's full of worries,full of questions,this is her everytime she wants something from me,she's such a good actress even though she's not an artist..if she just know I knew all of the things she's doin' I'm pretty sure she'll understand me..

I just nodded and ready to get out of her car when she grab my wrist to stop me..

"I like you..."

She look at intently and pause for a seconds..

"I mean I love you..I..I just don't know how to say it because I know that you're doubting me and you're a straight person either but I don't care if Dew already told me that I don't had any chances I'm still willing to do everything just to make you mine,I know it'll be hard for you because this is the first time you'll had a woman in your life but Mon.."

She blink she eyes few times as if she's forcing her tears to drop..

"Eversince I laid my eyes on you,I promise to myself that I'll do everything to make you mine,I'll pissed you off all day if I needed too,I'll disturb you 'til you annoyed and hit me,I'll drive you back and forth I don't care if I had a lot of papers waiting for me at the office,I'll always treat you good and delicious foods and even desserts, I'll stop-"

"Doing one night stands,kissing random girls all over the bars,stop having sex with random girl in the car because it makes me feel like I'm just one of your toys..."

I continue her phrases and she stunned..

"Mon??"

And now she's confused..

I give her my phone as I opened the gallery of it and she accepted it..

"I-..."

That's all she can say as she keep scrolling on it..

I just let her watch all the clips I had in my phone where she kissed random girls throughout this week and also eversince we've known each other..

She stunned..

We're just like a couple now in the *i was the one who catch her cheating and she needs to explain herself* situation..

I saw this many times in a Kdrama..

"Mon?"

I get my phone back and she's just looking at me while her tears starts to stream over her face..

"That's the reason why I'm doubting you even though you give me this signs that there's a possible way you're gonna love me,It doesn't matter if big brother told you that I'm straight,there's still a chance I'll change but those things that you're doing??I'm pretty sure you can't change that.."

I get out of her car and she follows me instantly..

"You're the one that I love,I didn't love anybody else since the day I laid my eyes on you"

I try to catch a taxi.

"Mon...please listen to me.."

"Why would I??you don't have the right to explain either,I don't care if you kissed millions of women all over the city,I don't had the right to complain,I don't had the right to slap you so hard because I'm not your girlfriend I'm just one of your toys!!!!"

This time Kate was just witnessing what'll happening between me and Khun Sam as she decided to approach us..

"Why you're fighting Infront of my restaurant? you're gonna scare my costumers.."

"Say that to your filthy bestfriend.."

I was about to enter the taxi when she grab my arms furiously.

"What did you said!?"

Her lovely eyes just turn into a scary one in just one snap but no!!I'll not gonna low my pride..

"What?!why!?are you going to slap me,Khun Sam?!"

She just look at me in a fierce way.

"This...this filthy woman that you're referring to,just save your life from the threat of media without you knowing,those stuffs that you had in your phone that some unknown person sent to you was the only way I can deal with the threats around you because I've been too close to you."

I stunned.

"This filthy woman that you're referring to,deals with those threat alone,accepts all the blackmails just to protect you and Yes!!I've kissed those random women and even had sex with them but THAT DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE WHAT I'M DOING!! THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!!THAT DOESN'T MEAN I SAW YOU AS A TOY!!! BECAUSE I KNOW TO MYSELF THAT YOU'RE DIFFERENT..."

she lose herself and decided to let go of my arms as she started to burst in tears.

"I just done those things because they want you so bad,when an article about you and me kissing at the car came out,Kate told me to stop seeing you for awhile and I need to be lowkey so that nothing bad happens to you,I agreed to her but I can't bare not seeing you everyday because I already used to it,it makes me crazy if I didn't see you.."

This time Kate approach her as she slowly sit down at the side of the street,she doesn't care if there's a lot of people passing us by..

And me on the other side somehow feels guilty..

"When that article came out,I'm so afraid that my ex who's so obssessed of me will saw it and yeah she does and when she saw it she send people to blackmail me,she even told them that if I'll not gonna do what they want,they'll kidnap you and rape you or worst killed you just to make her sure that I'll came back to her..I was so afraid and I don't want to lose you,I've lose you before when we were young and I'm not gonna let that happened again Mon,not this time..."

I can't move even just a bit,it makes me feel like it's all my fault and I got it all wrong,I feel guilty..what should I do?!I can't think of anything to make her feel better...

"Khun Sam.."

I slowly sit down behind her and wrap my arms around her and hug her so tight.

And there,I cried so bad when I just realized that I should've ask her eversince I've found it all out..

"I just feel so safe when you wrap your arms around me.."

She then rest her chin at my arms and I just give her a kiss on her head..