The car ride home was painfully silent as Stevie and Sheryl both tried to process their thoughts. Lindsey was right, after all. They weren't doing anything wrong. So why was Sheryl threatened? Why was Stevie guilty?
When they arrived home Sheryl headed straight to the kitchen. Stevie followed like a lost puppy, unsure of what to say to defuse the atmosphere. She watched Sheryl pour herself a generous measure of brandy and down it, thinking better than to comment on it.
Seeing a red blinking light in her peripheral vision, she moved to pick up the voicemail left on her machine. Karen's voice echoed around the kitchen.
"Stevie - I just left yours. There's a letter on your desk and I thought I should leave you a message to make sure you saw it. It's from Santa Monica Fertility. It's coming up 10 years...anyway read the letter. There's a weight watchers meal plated up in the fridge, just needs heating through if you're hungry. See you tomorrow!"
She felt Sheryl's eyes burning into her. Karen still didn't know about them being together - not even her ever loyal assistant, who she trusted with her life, knew she was in love with another woman. People had always moved in and out of Stevie's house. Karen figured this was just another temporary arrangement and Stevie had never corrected her.
"I -"
"Fertility?"
Stevie sighed and shook her head. She didn't want to have this conversation right now. She didn't even want to think about it herself. Had it really been 10 years? She looked at Sheryl and realized there was no getting around it.
"When I was...when I left Fleetwood Mac in the early 90s, I figured I had time for a baby. But my klonopin addiction was getting out of control and I wanted to get clean before I had a child, but I wasn't getting any younger so I froze some eggs, maybe I could use a surrogate, you know? So then I figured after Street Angel, after rehab...then I went back to the band, we did The Dance, I did the solo tour, then Shangri-la...you know it's just always something. Now, here we are. It's 10 years later, I'm in my 50s...that's that, I guess." She shrugged and blinked back tears of regret.
Sheryl nodded slowly. She hadn't forgotten that she was unhappy about what she'd witnessed but her tone softened slightly in the face of this revelation. She cleared her throat before speaking again.
"And Lindsey?" She rolled the empty brandy glass between her hands, watching her girlfriend's face intently for any sign of the betrayal she was so anxious about.
Stevie shook her head again, refusing to meet Sheryl's gaze. She folded her arms across her chest and leant back against the counter.
"There's nothing to say. We talked...it felt like the right thing to do." The silence as Sheryl waited for her to continue felt like an accusation, and she became defensive. "Jesus Christ, it was just a hug! What, am I not allowed to hug people now? Where is this coming from?"
"Did you tell him about me? About us?"
"No!"
"Why not? See, this is what I'm bothered by Stevie - it's been months and not a single fucking person knows about us! Not even your god damn assistant who knows everything! Even where you keep your fucking frozen eggs which of course I'm in the dark about!"
"Why would I tell you about that? It's clearly not something I've given much thought to."
"I don't know, but it makes me wonder about what the hell else is going on I'm not aware of -"
Stevie finally snapped her eyes up. Sheryl was caught off guard. The rage in her face made them look almost black as she narrowed them.
"Like what? Come on! Fucking say it."
