Feb 11, 2004
"Make a wish, Aunt Sheryl!"
She squeezed her eyes tight for a moment before opening them and blowing out the candles, catching Stevie's eye through the thin columns of smoke. Stevie smiled gently and nodded at her, knowing exactly what she'd wished for.
Sheryl clung a little tighter to her oldest nephew who was sitting in her lap, whilst his brother, always in competition with him, had clambered into Stevie's. She had insisted that she wanted to visit with them back in Missouri for her birthday, despite Stevie's hesitation that it might be too upsetting to be around children so soon after finding out it was virtually impossible for her to naturally concieve one of her own.
The news had come as a terrible shock. Of all the challenges they had anticipated on the journey to becoming parents, they didn't foresee such a huge roadblock so early on. After having a series of tests to make sure everything was ok, Sheryl especially had been devastated to find out that there was a problem. Her eggs simply weren't viable.
She'd always figured she'd make time for a baby someday, and had - perhaps naively - assumed the process would be fairly straightforward. People get pregnant all the time. She was healthy, she'd had no problems with periods or anything, everything was normal, right?
"I know this must be difficult to come to terms with right now," her OB-GYN had said gently as they sat in her office, Sheryl quietly crying into a Kleenex as Stevie held her. "But just because this has happened, it doesn't mean there aren't other options. There are lots of routes to becoming a mother these days, and none of them make you any less of one than another. We can support you or refer you to the appropriate agencies for surrogacy, egg donation, adoption -"
"Egg donation?" Stevie's brain began to shift into gear.
"Of course, a lot of women take eggs volunteered by a close relative so there is some familial DNA, or fertility clinics have a bank of donated eggs, similar to a sperm bank."
"So the eggs don't have to have Sheryl's DNA for it to work?"
Sheryl slowly lifted her head to fix her gaze on Stevie, the realization dawning on her.
"Oh no, not at all...why, did you have a donor in mind?"
"Yes," she saw Sheryl was now smiling through her tears, and her own voice broke at how much perfect sense it all made, how beautifully things had turned out. It was fate. "Me."
Of the 15 eggs that had been frozen, 2 were viable. Stevie's age at the time of retrieval and her history with drugs had had a negative impact, but the 2 they could use were genetically perfect.
They quickly settled on a sperm donor - he had a similar genetic heritage to Sheryl so there was a chance of some resemblance to both of them - and the first embryo transfer took place in early December.
Sheryl had been inconsolable when the pregnancy test was negative. Stevie, usually the emotionally erratic one in the relationship, had to quickly learn how to negotiate her fiancée's extreme changes in mood as she tried to process what was happening.
They had one more chance.
And so, a little over a week before Sheryl's 42nd birthday, the second transfer had taken place. And now they were waiting once again.
~
Stevie was doing her skincare routine in the guest en suite at Sheryl's parents as the door opened. She watched Sheryl's reflection in the mirror as she approached her, snaking slim arms around Stevie's waist and resting her chin on her shoulder.
"Hi."
"Hi. What's going on?"
"Nothing...just thinking."
Stevie twisted in her arms to face her, gently dragging her nails up and down Sheryl's arms.
"Wanna talk about it?"
She'd learnt that making time to allow Sheryl to talk about her feelings, rather than giving into her own instincts to try and empathize and end up speaking for her, was a big help.
"I know we're supposed to wait another two days to test -"
"Sheryl -"
"No, I know. It's just...something feels different Stevie. I can just feel it."
Stevie rested her forehead against Sheryl's, gently touching her fingertips to her lower stomach.
"Then in two days, we'll find out. Ok?"
Sheryl sighed.
"Ok."
"Alright, now come to bed." She kissed her lightly and moved past her to the door. "I've got your last birthday present to give you."
"Oh? What's that?"
Stevie turned and smirked at her.
"I'll give you a clue - it was exactly the same as the first present I gave you when you woke up this morning, except this time I'm a little red wine drunk so it might be a bit freakier."
Sheryl laughed.
"Ok, I'll be through in a minute."
Stevie draped her silk robe over the chair and climbed into bed, alone with her thoughts for a moment. Sheryl really could be pregnant. This could be it...she might be about to become a mother. It was the one mystery about her life she'd thought she'd never have the answer to. Who would her child be?And here it was. Potentially growing inside the woman she loved, right now. It was a lot to process.
She was yanked from her thoughts as Sheryl burst through the door and hurled something onto the bed before dropping into the chair and covering her face with her hands.
"So this is what we're doing, is it?" She reached out and grabbed the white stick from the blankets. "Just totally ignoring what the other says?"
"I'm sorry ok? I just couldn't take it anymore. Just...don't be mad, just wait another minute and tell me what it says. I can't look."
Stevie gave a resigned sigh. She slipped back out of bed and sat on the floor at Sheryl's feet, placing the test upside down beside her. Reaching up, she coaxed Sheryl's hands from her face, smiling at her as she tucked a lock of hair back and stroked her cheek.
"I love you."
"I know, Steves. I love you too."
She took a deep breath and picked up the test, staring at it in silence. It must have only been for a moment, but to Sheryl it felt like an eternity as she listened to her heart pounding and searched Stevie's blank face for answers.
"Oh," she mumbled at last. She looked up at Sheryl, tears swimming in her eyes.
"What? What?"
"Happy birthday, mama."
