Shock and devastation blasts through my body to my core as I slump into the backseat of the cab I'm in. I left home over two hours ago to get things that would try to help Yuuri get through the haze that he was in but even as I walked out of the door, I knew I should have stayed. I was aware of Yuuri's depressive episodes but didn't think it would ever become so overwhelming for him.
My concern for Yuuri grows until it edges into sheer panic. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I completely lose control. As I open my eyes I notice that the car is slowing to a stop in front of the apartment building where Yuuri and I have made our home.
I rush to pull out money to pay the driver and quickly get out of the car. As I step out of the car, I lose balance and almost fall over from the amount of grief I feel. My feet suddenly gain purchase as I break into a full sprint towards our apartment. The day I met Yuuri was the day he saved me from complete self destruction.
I had fallen out of love with skating and constantly found myself looking for something to bring me back to my passion. Overwhelmed by the urge to surprise my fans and the judges with new choreography, it was getting more and more difficult to remember why I started skating in the first place.
My love, please don't leave me. Not when I just found you.
Memories of all the times we've spent together flash through my mind and a sob breaks through my chest to think that these mind trapped thoughts may be the only things I have left of Yuuri. One memory stands out above all the others when I reach the door to our apartment. I stumble as I thrust the key into the lock and throw open the door with abandon. I don't bother to stop as I rush into the apartment.
"Yuuri! My love, please!" I cry out, frantically looking around the dark living room searching for any sign of him.
Suddenly, the sound of the shower running fills my ears as I stumble through the living room towards the bathroom. The door is slightly open allowing a slim chamber of light to fill the dark hallway.
My whole body shakes as my trembling hand pushes the door open. A painful gasp of air fills my lungs as I take in the scene before me. Empty medicine bottles litter the floor and a half empty bottle of liquor sits on the edge of the tub. Yuuri is in the bathtub, his chin against his chest which doesn't appear to be rising with any signs of life.
"YUURI!! YUURI MY LOVE WAKE UP!!" I collapse onto the floor and crawl over to the bathtub before turning the knob to shut the water off. My movements are clumsy and I try to shake of the sense of foreboding that fills my body.
My hands grip Yuuri's shoulders then glide over his neck as I feel for a pulse. When I find none, I reach for his wrists which are bleeding profusely. Open wounds cover the insides of his muscular forearms which makes it difficult for me to feel a pulse. I fall into myself and grip my hair, pulling hard as I cry out in agony.
"Viktor!" A deep voice calls out my name which makes me jump slightly. Then I remember that Chris was supposed to come over to watch movies and help me try to cheer up Yuuri.
Yuuri...
I look over at him again with cloudy vision, his face the only clear thing I can see. I cry out again as fear takes hold. "Yuuri! Wake up... WAKE UP PLEASE!!"
"Viktor?! What's go- Oh my god!" I look over at Chris who has a hand over his mouth which is open slightly, his expression horrified.
"Help us!" I cry out as I sob uncontrollably. My gaze falls on Yuuri again. His skin is chalky and cold as I brush the damp hair back from his face. "Yuuri please, if you can hear me, please hang on! I love you so much Yuuri. My life has been so much better with you here. You mean more to me than words could ever express, my love... Please. I can't lose you."
Everything fades as I focus solely on Yuuri. His full lashes damp and his skin wet as I rub my thumb over his cheek. I have no idea how much time has passed when a hand gently rubs my shoulder as I feel myself being pulled away from Yuuri.
"Don't take him away from me! He needs me!" I turn to look at who is touching me as I struggle against their pull.
"Viktor, we need to move so they can help him. We're going to stay with him but right now we're in the way. Come, love. Let them help him." Chris looks down at me, speaking softly but firmly as he continues to pull me up from the floor. His face full of pained compassion and I stop resisting as I let him guide me into the hallway.
That's when I notice the paramedics and firemen standing at the entry to the hall way. They quickly enter the bathroom with a backboard as they talk to each other about what to do. A ringing starts in my ears as I collapse, my back sliding against the wall until I firmly hit the ground with a dull thud. Chris sits next to me and holds me as I watch the paramedics lift Yuuri from the tub. They gently lay him on the backboard as they begin to flash lights in his eyes, speaking loudly to him as they explain what they are doing to him. One of the paramedics begins talking into a radio as they pick up all the empty medicine bottles and read the labels.
A fireman breaks away from the group that is lifting Yuuri and walks over to me and Chris. She kneels down in front of me, her face tight with concern.
"Sir, I don't know what you must be going through right now but we need to ask you a few questions. If you feel up to it, of course." She says.
"What do you need to know?" My voice sounds flat when I speak and I don't want to talk, but I know I need to do what I can to help Yuuri. She nods with encouragement.
"Do you have any idea how long ago this might have happened?" Her voice is kind and patient as she goes through a list of questions.
My gaze is on Yuuri the entire time I'm answering the questions. I watch as they quickly cut his shirt and pants off with a pair of shears then begin putting stickers all over his chest, arms, and legs. They connect wires to the stickers which are attached to a device that monitors his heartbeat. One paramedic sticks a needle into Yuuri's hand for an IV. As soon as they're done, an intense beeping emits from the machine. They all look at each other before they start moving faster and speak more urgently to each other.
The woman kneeling in front of me looks back at them then looks over to me with an unsettling look in her eyes.
"What's wrong? Is he okay? Why is it beeping like that? What does that mean?" I sit up straight as the questions tumble from me. An intense panic threatens to take hold when they begin to rapidly pick up their equipment and Yuuri. They rush out of the bathroom while carrying Yuuri on the backboard and lay him on the gurney that is in the living room. When they begin to pump Yuuri's chest, I lose control.
I bolt up and try to rush towards Yuuri but the woman stands in front of me with her hands up while Chris wraps his arms around me, holding me in place. I cry out in frustration, "Let me go! He needs me!"
"Viktor please. I'm right here with you, I'm terrified too." Chris' voice breaks and I turn to look at him. Tears are flowing down his cheeks and his bottom lip is shaking.
That's when I break.
"I couldn't save him. Chris, I failed Yuuri. I should've done more to help him." There's more I want to say but all I can do is sob. Chris shakes his head as I lay my head on his shoulder and cry.
"You did everything right Viktor. I'm sure Yuuri knows that you care for him and love him deeply. This is not your fault and I know Yuuri would tell you the same thing. But we have to stay strong for him. He's going to need us when he wakes up." Chris' words hit hard but I know he's right.
I'll be here, waiting for you. Yuuri, my love.
YOU ARE READING
A Turn For The Worse... Victuuri Fanfic
Fanfiction**EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING** The pressure of winning gold finally hit Yuuri after the finals were over. He knew how much of a deal this was for Viktor since he was his coach and Yuuri felt as though he not only let his lover down, but all of Viktors...
