Basically BOTO

Awake at Night

(TW: heavily implied suicidal intent)

  Pizza groaned sleepily, roused by someone calling him in the middle of the night. He squinted against the light that pierced the dark room and reached for his phone on the bedside table, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

  "Hot Dog..? What's up?"

  "Could you come over?"

  The urgency in Hot Dog's voice woke Pizza fully, and he was already up and making his way out.

  "Sure; what for?"

  "I- I need you. Please."

  "Already on my way." Pizza grabbed his keys and a coat. "Hang tight, okay?"

  "Stay on the line?"

  "Of course."

  Soon after, Pizza was at Hot Dog's door, watching his breath condensate in the chilly air. None of Hot Dog's lights were on. He rubbed his hands together, trying to keep them warm.

  Hot Dog opened the door and Pizza came inside.

  "Sorry for the late call," Hot Dog said almost breathlessly as he closed the door.

  "Hey, it's okay." Pizza shrugged off his coat and hung it on the nearby coat rack. "What's going on? Can't sleep again?"

  "Yeah..."

  "Did you take your medicine?"

  Hot Dog hesitated to answer. His hands hadn't moved from the lock on his door. "I don't...really want to take them..."

  "But you didn't have a problem with them before? Hey, let's sit down somewhere. Come on." Pizza pat Hot Dog's shoulder, and the latter nodded. They moved to Hot Dog's bedroom, and sat on the edge of the bed. The lights weren't on in his room, either.

  "I know I was fine before, but..." Hot Dog wrung his hands together. "I don't really trust myself with them...right now..." His voice went quieter than it already was.

  Pizza was quiet for a moment, and his throat was suddenly dry. The silence said everything about how he felt. It was painful for both of them.

  "Well- I'm here right now. You don't need to be scared. Did you put them somewhere?"

  Hot Dog gulped. "Yeah, they're...on the floor somewhere."

  Pizza turned on the bedside lamp and scanned the floor. The bottle, still closed, had rolled off near a wall. He picked it up and held it out to Hot Dog.

  Hot Dog took stared at the bottle for a moment, then took off the cap and put a pill in his mouth. Pizza watched as Hot Dog seemingly froze in place, the open bottle still in his hand. He was trembling.

  Gently, Pizza took the bottle from Hot Dog, closed it, and placed it on the nightstand. Hot Dog sighed as if he was holding his breath.

  "Sorry. I'm sorry."

  "You're okay." Pizza sat next to Hot Dog again. "What happened? Are you...are you good?"

  Hot Dog didn't answer, nor did he look at Pizza. Pizza looked away too- briefly. Hot Dog was like this ever since the finale, and even more so after they saw the news that Rook had been thawed. On TV, Rook looked disoriented and scared; the interview with him was cut short because he had a mental breakdown when Brawl of the Objects was mentioned.

  Pizza looked at Hot Dog then, and he had almost a haunted expression. He always thought it was because Hot Dog felt bad for him- that's what Hot Dog said it was. That he couldn't imagine being frozen at the bottom of a lake for centuries, only to suddenly find himself in a different world and objects of all kinds in his face demanding information. Neither could Pizza.

  But Pizza couldn't piece together why the news affected him so much. Sure, Hot Dog was an emotional type, and the post-finale interview held shocking revelations for all of the cast, Shieldy and Shelly especially. But only Hot Dog had trouble sleeping at night; only Hot Dog had become more quiet and reserved. Perhaps something about Rook resonated with him.

  Whatever it was, it was causing him pain, and he wouldn't talk about it. Pizza hoped that Hot Dog would feel better over time, but he didn't. He'd been on the sleep medication for nearly a month now.

  "Pizza..."

  "Yeah?"

  "What if..." Hot Dog gripped the edge of the bed, "what if you had two options, and...you know both of them are bad in hindsight, but you still feel like you made a mistake? A-And, you couldn't tell anyone because you know they'd hate you for it. What would you do?"

  Pizza paused to process it. "That's...a loaded question. I mean, there's no use crying over spilt milk. You either live with what you did, or you try to make it right."

  "What if you don't know how?"

  "Then you figure it out. Because if you can't do it on your own," Pizza looked Hot Dog in the eyes, "then you ask someone who can help. No one will know what's going on unless you say something."

  Hot Dog was quiet again. Then he put his face in his hands.

  "I'm horrible. I'm such a horrible person."

  "No you're not."

  "Yes I am. I've just been quiet and selfish while you and everyone else have been worried sick about me. And you wouldn't even be so worried if-" Hot Dog took a moment to wipe the tears from his eyes and collect himself before he said anything more. His breath was shaky.

  "If what?"

  "...nothing. I'm talking nonsense, I think the medication is kicking in."

  "No, Hot Dog," Pizza said more firmly, "if what?"

  "Could we talk about this in the morning? I'm sorry, just...sleeping medication. It's supposed to make me go to sleep."

  He wasn't lying that time. His body was begging him to lay down.

  Pizza resigned with a sigh. "Fine. Morning; promise?"

  "Mhm. You can, uh...go, if you want. Thanks for being here, by the way."

  Pizza got off the bed so Hot Dog could properly lay down. There was no way he was leaving. Just as with Hot Dog's reaction to the Rook news, seeing him shaking with the open pill bottle unsettled him. Hearing that Hot Dog couldn't trust himself with his own medication unsettled him. There was something deeply, undeniably wrong, and Pizza shuddered at the thought of what might've happened if he wasn't here.

  "I'll stay here, actually. Any spare mattresses, or something?"

  "I think so...check the closet."

  Pizza was soon set up next to Hot Dog; an impromptu sleepover. The lamp was turned off and Pizza could only see a shadow of Hot Dog, resting above him.

  "Sleep well, okay? I'll see you in the morning."

  "Yeah... I'll see you then."