Kalam

Chapter 8

Advitya took Meera's hand in his and gave it a little squeeze. He knew his blank stare and expression won't work anymore. He had to try. For her. For them. Meera was looking anywhere but at him. She didn't want to look at his face. He hasn't done anything to anger her but more pity from him is not something she wants.

But then she heard it, and her resolve broke down. Ruhanika and Swadheenta have big enough names to have them shortened to make a nickname. It's cute when their husband's do that but Meera's name is not big enough. Any nickname she has ever had is just changing the A in her name with an U. But sometimes her husband does call her with cute names that just melt her. He hasn't done that in a long time. He has been distant for a few months now. She realized it's probably over between them. Their marriage is not a very regular one.

"Jaan, do you really think I pity you? 2 saal Meera. 2 saal se tumhe yahi lag rha hai? Everything I've done for you, none of that comes from pity. Who in this stupid world would pity you? You're really successful. People look up to you, you're actually an inspiration for so many people. Who the fuck am I to pity you? Get that thing out of your head. I am really sorry for everything I said yesterday. I didn't mean any of that. I was stressed and my migraine and everything just ended with me taking it out on you. That is no excuse though. I am sorry. You don't have to ask or inform anyone. You can come to the office whenever you want." Meera shook her head. Her eyes were filled with tears but she was holding them back from falling. She is not going to that god forsaken office ever again.

(You've been thinking this for 2 years?)

"But you don't even look at me anymore. Like I am some person who is going to ruin your day. You just leave and run away to your office. You leave early, you come back late, it's like I don't even see you anymore. It's been two months Advitya, the only affection I got from you were two minutes in that award ceremony, if you don't want me just say it. I'll go away-"

"Shut up. You're not going anywhere. Do you get it? There are issues in my office that need to be taken care of. Someone is stealing from my company and I need to figure out who that is. And I do look at you darling. When you're not looking. I see everything. How you cook for me, how you dress up, how you've not wore any Indian clothes in a really long time, I know how much you love them. I do see you Meera. But I know if I keep looking at you, I would never go to the office.

And you're not going anywhere, agar tum chali gayi to mai kaha jaunga? Meera tum meri majboori nahi ho. Ye baat hamesha yaad rakhna, tum Mera ghar ho....Mera guroor ho aur tumhare bina mai kahi aur jaa hi nhi sakta. Maine apni zindagi Kati thi Meera, tumne aake mujhe jeena sikhaya, now how do you expect me to do that without you? I am not perfect baby, but I am good enough to know you don't like perfect. Mai tumse kuch kehna chahunga Meera but shayad kabhi keh na paayu, will you ever understand?" A crying Meera nodded at him. She put her hands on his shoulder and brought their foreheads together. This is what she wants. Him. And even if he doesn't say it, she knows he wants the same thing. Her.

(Where will I go if you leave? Meera, you're not an obligation for me. You're my home. My pride. I was passing life, you taught me how to live it. I might want to say something to you, but maybe I won't be able to, will you still understand me?)

"And Meera," she opened her eyes and looked up at him, he cupped her face with both his hands and made her look in his eyes.

"I always want you."

"Now Mrs. Meera Kashyap, would you like to go on a date?"

Meera was surprised. He has never done something like this before. "Date? With you?"

Advitya's expression was comical. He was amused. "To kya tum padosi ke sath jaogi? Ofcourse with me Meera."

(So what? Are you going to go with the neighbor?)