13 and depressed

He likes me?

Chapter 7

So, yesterday when we went to the mall. (the youth group) my crush sat next to me. then when we were playing football he almost trampled me. but not on purpose, he apologized.

one of my friends was trying to give me advice to get him to like me and stuff. then during worship we did a fast upbeat song. he was clapping and almost smacked me in the face. then I said "Hayden, please don't smack me in the face" after I said that he acted like he was gonna hit me but he wasn't actually gonna hit me. then on of my friends pushed me and I almost fell on him. I'm pretty sure I was blushing, but the lights were off. they had the black lights on and that was it.

So then after youth me and a couple of my friends were doing a weird dance. (don't ask) so Hayden came over and joined us and he put his arm around me while he were doing the weird dance thing.
I died at the moment. he's so cute and sweet and awe.

I don't want him to move back to Arkansas. this is the happiest I've been in a while. Hayden makes me so happy. I don't want him to leave.

But after all that happened yesterday, does this mean he likes me? Boys are so fucking confusing.

Today was shit. math basically kicked my ass.

It's almost 10:00 pm. I'm ready to go to sleep. ugh, goodnight.

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So my mom is basically pushing collage onto my shoulders. earlier she asked me if I wanted to go to college after I graduate high school. if I go to college after I graduate then I have to take certain classes now or something. she said I could wait a year or two and get a real job and save up money and stuff and I wouldn't have to take certain classes.

To be honest, I don't want to go to college. I might change my mind in the future. I am only 13, almost 14. I really don't wanna think about college right now. I'm more worried about high school. good god please just send help or something. I'm probably not gonna make it through High School.

My fucking charger broke Tuesday night. I'm so pissed. I won't be able to get a new one until next week. so I'll have to use my moms charger until I get a new one. that's two fucking chargers.

I'm so happy though, I ordered a shirt a couple weeks ago that says "Hemmings 96" I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH!
I plan on wearing it tomorrow and Sunday. #sorrynotsorry

So my birthday is in about 20 days. I'm gonna be 14, holy fuckballs. I might get to dye all my hair red for my birthday. whoop whoop skiddlyboop!

Last day of co-op tomorrow. THANK GOD! I'll be able to sleep in on Fridays. Yayyyy. I'm sooooo tired omf. I think I'm gonna try to work on like a short story or something,or draw.
I'm gonna go work on a short story or something like that. whoop whoop skiddlyboop.