13 and depressed

Anti-social

Chapter 2

I'm very anti-social, i hate socializing. that's probably why I don't have a boyfriend. yes, I don't have a boyfriend, my parents don't allow me to date. they want me to courtship (or something like that). they're very over protective. but then, I am their only daughter. I have three brothers. SOOO that really sucks.
So I'm really into 5sos. they're like my favorite band. but I also really like Fall Out Boy. I've been trying to get into more bands. but so far, it's not really happening. but that's okay, it'll take some time.

So I absolutely HATE school. Math is my least favorite subject. I kinda suck at Math. oops...

I love art and drawing. and I also love taking pictures. I love finding art in nature. I feel free and alive.
Other times I would rather die.

Honestly, I don't think I'll ever get a boyfriend. I mean, I'm ugly af. no guy is ever gonna want to date me. but I guess that's fine. #foreveralone
I'll just buy a shitload of cats. I mean it's basically like having a boyfriend, right? Boys are so confusing.
one thing I know is that I definitely won't be dating Hayden. he's moving back to Arkansas in May. that really makes me sad. and I'll have to get over him. but I don't think I'll be able to. he's just so SHDHSBDNFBFBF. well you know what I mean.

But I was talking to a guy on Kik. (don't worry he's not a pedo) he's really nice. we were "fighting" about each other being trash. (and I am trash) he sent a pic and HOLY SHIT HES CUTE!
He kept saying I was pretty and beautiful and all that nice shit. but, I know I'll never be pretty or beautiful. all of my friends are gorgeous. and I'm a piece of worthless shit that nobody cares about.

it was sweet that he said that, but I'll never believe it. but DAMN he's cute as fuck. I don't know his name, but he lives in the UK. so timezones are ruining everything dammit. but I think he has a girlfriend (I think, I'm not really sure.) but he wouldn't want to date me anyways. like I said, I'm a worthless piece of shit that nobody cares about. I just have to get used to that.
So I have a bit of an obsession with 5sos. I think I already said that. Luke is my favorite, but I love them all. they're all so shshshsjdbf. well, uh you know what I mean...
Anyways, I don't know what it's like to have a boyfriend. guys are like scared of me or something. it's sad to be honest. oh well, who needs guys when you have food and youtube? Haha...
Being single kinda sucks. I NEED CUDDLES DAMMIT! And pizza, I really want pizza.
FOOD IS MEH LIFE MAN.

So I was talking to my new friend (I mentioned him earlier) on Kik earlier, and I told him how I was depressed and stuff. he's so sweet. he's also kinda depressed, so I've been trying to help and stuff. but he keeps saying he's trash and he's not. he's fucking cute. But he won't listen to me, I really wish he would.
Honestly, he's one of the sweetest guys I've ever talked to. he keep saying I'm cute and stuff, I think I'm actually accepting it. wait, does this mean I might be beginning to have a crush on him? I don't really know him. dammit, I guess I'll have to wait and see.