Do Not Look At Me, See Me

Chapter 1

It's been two years, eight months and thirteen days since the incident. And somehow I can't stop counting days. I guess it's keeping my mind off things going on in my life. An example of this is the reaping, which is tomorrow. I can't help to wonder what will happen tonight, I've thought of what happened last year nearly everyday. That is the two things that I think of everyday, Enorgo and Raelynn.

I walk fast away from Sophia's house and head home. It's already four in the afternoon. My mom surely expects me to be home at five and it takes a little while to go home.

Sophia is the only friend I have who's "poor". She lives with five other siblings, all younger than her. Her mom died while giving childbirth to the latest child and she has her hands full with work. I was there to help her today and it was pretty fun, little Jamie actually said his first full sentence today. I brought some sandwiches, proper water and some of my old clothes. Elizabeth's growing out of hers and Willow already has Sophia's clothes.

My family is one of the richest in the district, I wouldn't want to brag about it but we don't really have an issue with food. My father is the major, maybe that's a reason why. I take a wavy strand of my hair behind my ear and sigh heavily. Today has been so exhausting and I really need a lie down. Possibly sleep until after the reaping, it would solve some problems. But it won't. I need to attend the dinner tonight.

I walk into a dark alley and I see someone who's laying on the filthy ground and is looking at me with disgust. I get why, I have it so much better than him and he despises me for it. I shouldn't complain about my life, I have a family, a cat, food on the table and I only have seven notes. Sophia - who is my age - has forty-nine notes. I absolutely shouldn't complain about my life. I dig my hand into my pocket and take out the last sandwich that I had saved for myself but now, I have pretty many guilt thoughts. So, instead of eating it myself, I give the sandwich to the man. He looks around thirty to thirty-five. He doesn't have so many filthy clothes on himself, he actually has some pretty decent and clean clothes. I wonder why he's here, he doesn't really look homeless other than that he hasn't showered in probably one and a half weeks. His brown hair, with some white stripes in it, is all tasseled together and I think to myself how it will be hard to get it out. I look around him and I see a bottle of whiskey. Only rich people can afford alcohol and not get blind by it. He isn't blind, he has glowing brown eyes which are staring at my hand holding the sandwich. I see that there's something else in them other than pain and suffering, a recognition when he looks at my face again.

"Is this your bottle?" I ask quietly. He grunts as an answer. "Come on, can you sit up at least?" He grunts again and answers,

"Leave", he coughs, "me be." He says the last two words in a rush.

"I'm not gonna leave you here." I shove my hand under his arm and makes him sit. He grunts and takes his hands to his lap. I give him the sandwich and say, "you need something, eat it." I can see the hesitation but he takes the sandwich and nods. He takes a bite and the tension in his jaw disappears. He takes another one and before I know it he has eaten every little crumple.

"Leave now." I ignore him and brush some of his hair out of his eyes. That's when I recognise him. How could I be so stupid? I think he can see my recognition because he brushes the hair back in front of his eyes so he can't see shit. I don't say anything, I just push him up to standing point and finally says,

"Let's get you home." He shakes his head but I ignore him yet again. I open my bag because I distinctly remember that Elizabeth didn't want that hat even though Sophia yelled at her. I push the blue hat over his head and start to walk out of the alley. I should have gone straight to the police about him but I wouldn't do that, it would actually get on the news here in District Four. I wouldn't want that on Merra.