Burn Out *18+*

Chapter 33

I spent two entire weeks creating the most fabulous gown, using my anger and my inspiration. It was unlike anything I had ever created and it took more time and commitment than I had ever expected, which was perfect. With Dexter burning his own bridge and my mother still missing, I felt like I had more time than ever to iron, sew, and stitch.

I only pulled myself away from my little sewing area when I had a prior engagement and I was careful about drinking enough water and sneaking snacks in. There was no denying the fury boiling in my belly, but there was also no denying that there had been some truth in Dex's words. I had let myself fall apart. And I would not do it again.

My back ached most nights from being hunched over my desk, but this was no small task. It felt like piecing together a novel, each time one part was complete, another looked unfinished, needed more detail and depth. It started with plain black fabric that simmered as it moved. I wanted to be a raven, a force, an omen that few didn't fear. Feathers were added in small batches on the shoulder. Sleeves that billowed like wings.

But anger didn't flutter like a bird. I almost let out a frustrated scream when my vision betrayed me, but as I rose from my desk, and loomed over my work, I saw something I hadn't before. The black was so deep it was almost hard to look at, but the feathering on the shoulders made it seem like the darkness just crept in, like a night sky fending off the light.

What burned brighter in the night, what scorched hotter than rage? A fire.

I returned from the fabric store with yellow, orange, and red gemstones and began the tedious task of laying them each out.

By the time Jasper and Zara showed up, my gown was complete, my apartment had been professionally cleaned and little Inkwell was being relocated to my dad's place.

There was no fanfare when they arrived this time, and I didn't bother to layer my counters with food I couldn't afford for my guests. I swung open the door when they knocked and gestured for them to come inside.

"Are you sure you want us to stay with you?" Zara asked, rolling her three pieces of luggage in already.

"Of course," I assured, wrapping my arm around her in a half hug.

"This is very hospitable of you, London. And a little unnecessary. It's not like we can't afford a hotel room. If anything your cat—"

Leave it to Jasper to undercut me while I was trying to do something nice. "Inkwell has been taken care of," I interjected quickly. "Besides, I heard the last time you were here, one of the staff members leaked your arrival and reporters and paparazzi swarmed the hotel. There're less people to leak anything here without risking their own peace of mind."

"That is so thoughtful of you," Zara gushed. "I can't wait to show you my dress, I think you're going to love it. Then we can get ready together and I can show you off to everyone. You're going to create some important connections at this event, I can feel it. And you are so deserving of it."

Her words of praise had me faltering, but I plastered on a grin. "For supper tonight I was thinking we could do pizza. There's a really good place nearby that delivers. And tomorrow, I have a couple college classes, so..."

"We are planning on going out tomorrow," Zara said. "You don't have to worry about entertaining us for the next couple of days before the gala. Then, we'll be out of your hair."

"Perfect." And it was. All of this was falling right into my plan.

Jasper and I occupied ourselves with playing video games until pizza came while Zara conducted a phone interview in the guest bedroom. Naturally, Jasper was doing much better than I was and I was seriously starting to wonder if there was anything this man wasn't good at.

"The ground is literally lava. If you fall in, you die," he said as if I didn't already know that.

To be honest, I wasn't bad at this particular game. I played it often with Dexter and usually ended up howling with laughter because he was utterly terrible. But Jasper just had wild hand-eye coordination and a desperation to win. It was almost amusing to see this man who could snap me like a tooth pick grit his teeth while his character jumped over a goomba.

"Dexter called me," he said finally, eyes still glued on the screen.

"I'm not surprised."

"So he did it, huh?"

I rolled my eyes which led my little character to jump right off the edge of the map. "Are you really going to pretend like you didn't know the truth?"

"I didn't know."

I couldn't even pretend to humor him. Jasper glanced over briefly and saw the set of my jaw, the narrow of my eyes and sighed. "I didn't know for sure, but I had a pretty solid hunch. The kid isn't much of an actor and it was all a little too convenient. Plus, his hand writing gave it away."

"And you didn't care?"

"He gave me a solution, alligator. I was worried about you. We all were. To see someone slipping like that and to not be able to do anything is a frightening thing. Alistair and I talked and we did what we thought was best for you."

"What about what I thought was best for me?"

"London, you were barely thinking. And you certainly weren't thinking about yourself. Now shut up and play. I want to pass this level."

I didn't bite back. The fury was still simmering within me, but anger wasn't going to get me anywhere, especially not with Jasper. It took methodical planning to get around that man.

And two days later everything fell into play. Jasper and Zara left for their day, giving me space so I could go to my college classes and activities. Zara and I laughed as they headed out the door and she promised she would come back with the best pastries the city had to offer so we could share them. Jasper only seemed pleased, completely unaware of the gear grinding away behind the scenes.

I waited three minutes after they left, making sure they would have to be buzzed back in if they forgot anything. Then I went to the guest bedroom. His laptop was sitting out just like I thought it would be. He checked his emails religiously, four times a day, but Zara refused to let him take it anywhere else. And over the past few days, I made sure to commit his password to memory which was quite the task considering how quickly he could type.

I strained my ears hard before entering the bedroom, waiting for Jasper to leap from the closet or Alistair to rappel from the ceiling and give me a life lesson. Neither of those things happened. Still, I didn't have the stomach to move slow. Anything could happen at any moment. I all but lunged for the laptop and jerked it open. The password fell onto the keys so quickly it almost felt like muscle memory.

And just like that I was allowed access to a slightly more advanced version of the database. Nothing intense of course, that would be a liability to only password protect. But it was more than what I had.

And when I searched up my mother's name, I saw that progress had been made. It wasn't much, but I could see emails being bounced back from between two agents. Two- or three-word correspondences tossed back every few days. And then, a location, an address. Something about a cell phone being tapped.

My fingers trembled as I pulled up the only contact that I knew – Sandra – and sent her an email, requesting that she give access to the phone tap to a new recipient. I typed in my own federally issued email and hit send. I didn't wait for what I had done to sink in. I wiped that computer clean of any trace that I had been there physically or virtually.

And I left. 

~~~Question of the Day~~~

Do you eat food past the expiration date?

I do, but only certain foods. I don't mess with dairy or meat!