November 2020 - Manchester, England
Before I knew it, more than a week had passed since Halloween. We were in Leigh, about to play an important match against Manchester United. They were one of our biggest competitors for a top three spot, and they had had a good start to the season so far. Although we knew the match would be a challenge, the whole team was fairly confident going in and we all felt well prepared.
The beginning moments of the game however ended up being all United, and we were forced to play long balls in order to sustain the pressure they were giving us. Around fifteen minutes through though we were able to put ourselves on the upper hand, but the game was still quite back and forth during the early stages.
Our best chance came shortly after we just barely cleared our lines, with Beth and I playing a quick sequence to get past United's right back, Leah Galton. Viv was able to pick up the ball at the edge of the box, but her shot was just tipped over the bar by their goalkeeper, Mary Earps. However, straight afterwards, United was back on top, dominating possession and we were struggling to deal with the momentum they had.
We continued to stay with our patient game plan, making calculated passes which unfortunately weren't able to turn themselves into chances. Joe was getting frustrated with the whole team's performances, and his shouting was rather unnerving in the silent stadium.
Going into half time, we were lucky to not have conceded. The classic English rain was pouring down, and no one seemed to be in a good mood.
"We can do better." Joe said in the locker room, trying to prepare us for the second half. He had spent most of the fifteen minutes informing us of the new tactics, and only had a few moments left for the motivational part of his speech. "Our midfield is nonexistent right now. We need to be more physical and not let them control us in the centre. Beth, Aleid - well done with your passes on the right, it seems to be their weaker side, so try and make the most of that opportunity. I need to see more from all of you though; the back line needs to continue to remain calm and the front line needs to actually try and make impactful chances. So let's go back out there and smash them!"
Our change in plan and our increased enthusiasm was to no avail though, and we were still getting overpowered by our opponents in all areas of the pitch. I was making careless fouls, my frustration rising as the match continued on, and earned myself a yellow card. In the final twenty minutes, we were able to slightly gain back our stride. I made a few good crosses, and it felt like our odds were increasing.
"Come on guys!" I urged, as Kim's shot was narrowly saved. "We're so close!" Tensions were high and the aggression was escalating, resulting in shouting and tough tackles, as neither side was able to find the back of the net.
Just as we were approaching ninety minutes and aiming for a draw, Ella Toone was able to curve her shot past Manu and score. It was disappointing - we had lost the ball on the edge of our own box, and it was a needless goal to give away.
As the final minutes of the match were played out, we were desperate to get one back and I was giving my all in attack. Lots of space was left open in the back though, and we found ourselves doing more scrappy defending than equalising. United were doing their best to waste time, leaving us without much opportunity to score.
The final whistle was blown after seven minutes of stoppage time, and I instantly collapsed onto the ground. I was in a foul mood, feeling extra defeated with the team's poor performance in a match this important.
"Good game." Jackie, my national teammate came over to me and said, pulling me to my feet.
"Jacks!" I said in return, smiling. I had practically forgotten my friend was on the pitch too, and we gave each other a hug. Although it hadn't been long since I'd seen her, it was always nice to reunite with one of my Dutch teammates. We caught up for a bit, talking about London and Manchester and the upcoming international break, forgetting all about the match I had just played.
As we were talking, I was called for a post-match interview with ITV, and I made my way over to the side of the pitch.
"Today was certainly a bad day for Arsenal, especially in contrast to recent performances." The interviewer asked me, "knowing this is Manchester United, who is one of your large competitors for a top three spot, how does the loss change things?"
He handed me the microphone and I replied, "It's always upsetting to lose, that's for sure, no matter the team you're losing against. I wouldn't say a win today was expected, but our performance today was not up to par with what we demand of ourselves, so there is definitely lots we need to work on."
"I know it's a bit early on, but do you think that any changes in the team will need to be made during the January window, and in the upcoming months in general?
"I think currently we have a great squad, but that's not for me to speak about. I'm sure Joe will be doing what he can to stick with our ambitions and help the team gain the best results we can."
"There is also the question of your future, with your contract suspected to be ending this summer. Do you have any idea what you will be doing next season?"
Once again, my contract being mentioned. The repetitive interrogation about whether I would be extending, or not extending, moving clubs or whatnot was rather tiring, "Right now I prefer to focus on the current moment rather than the future, so we'll see."
"Great to speak to you today Aleid, thank you." The interviewer then said, dismissing me. I made my way inside, where the team was already talking the match through with Joe.
"We'll discuss further once we're back at the training centre. For now, rest up and come back ready for training." He concluded, before beckoning me out of the locker room for a conversation.
"So, I don't want to pressure you or anything to make a decision, but I just wanted to approach you about a contract extension." He began, slightly catching me off guard. I had guessed that a conversation like this would happen soon, but didn't really know what to expect. "I know our initial agreement was for a year only, but I do believe you are playing very well here and settling in quickly with the team. Do you think you would be open to this, perhaps?"
My heart was instantly telling me to say yes, but my head was telling me to think it through. Kristie was back in Houston, the life I had been living for the past few years was in Houston! I was enjoying myself in London, but I wasn't sure whether I could picture myself here long term.
"I have to think about it." I said to him instead, knowing I shouldn't make a decision so suddenly.
"I understand. Remember though Aleid, you're still young with a lot more in you. You have so much more potential than you may think."
As he departed, I was left in a state of confusion. My whole life, I had always been so certain in every decision I made, knowing exactly what I wanted and exactly where I wanted to do it. I felt like going back to Houston would be the best option for me, I was comfortable there, in the league, in my relationship. There was no need though for me to make a decision instantly, so I decided that I would discuss it with Kristie and really think about what I truly wanted. If I felt like going back was right, why did the thought of leaving feel so wrong?
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RomanceAleid van Alstine has been representing the Netherlands since she was seventeen, kickstarting her career at nearby club FC Twente, before moving to Germany to play for Wolfsburg, then to the United States to play for the Houston Dash, and now to Eng...