you know that richard siken quote that goes 'someone has to leave first. this is a very old story. there is no other version of this story.' people don't have to physically leave you for you to mourn their departure. they can stop understanding you. the other richard siken quote that's like 'if you love me you don't love me in a way i understand.'
maybe i stopped understanding my mother, maybe she stopped understanding me, or maybe she never did. maybe my father didn't have to leave because he was never here. am i mourning something i never had?
once more i'm writing about my parents. will i ever write about anything else? do we ever write about anything other than the way our parents hurt us? is there anything else to write about?
