Necklace In The Path

Chapter 9: Learning to Trust

The weather in Tokyo is getting colder, signaling that the days are becoming shorter and the nights longer. I used to enjoy this season when I lived in California, but now I dislike it. There are many reasons for my aversion to cold weather, one of which is the rain. The rain reminds me of my late husband James and the approaching anniversary of his death. Despite my attempts to avoid thinking about it, I receive many messages and calls from friends and family that make it difficult to ignore.

Aside from these reminders, my life in Japan has improved. I have grown closer to Cho, and we talk openly about our personal lives. I have definitely become more comfortable with her over time, but I know she still disapproves of my relationship with Hinata. I have not yet asked her about her feelings towards him, and so I have avoided the subject altogether with her.

As for Hinata and me, I think we are doing well. He still does not share much about his personal life, but I understand that as a member of the Yakuza, there may be many things he cannot reveal to me. I try not to pressure him, but I do wish he would open up to me more. For example, I only recently learned his birthday. He jokingly told me that I wasn't a very good girlfriend for not knowing. I understand that he is not perfect either, but I still have strong feelings for him. Despite these feelings, we have not yet had sex. I am okay with this, but I do feel guilty for not being able to fully trust him. Whenever we start kissing and things become passionate, I become anxious and pull away. I am grateful that Hinata is patient and understanding of my situation.

Hinata has offered to take me to a resort with a spa to help distract me from the upcoming anniversary of James' death. My mother thinks this is a great idea, and so I am considering going. I have never done anything like this with Hinata, so I am curious to see how it will turn out.

Now when I heard that the spa resort was in Okinawa, I was taken aback. I had been expecting a local spa, not one that was a whole plane ride away. The luxurious atmosphere of the resort also made me feel nervous and out of place. Despite Hinata's reassurances, I couldn't shake the feeling of discomfort at the thought of the cost.

On the day of our trip, we met at the airport. The flight was longer than I anticipated, almost three hours, and I was already feeling nervous about being out of my comfort zone. I tried to calm myself by putting on my headphones and forcing myself to sleep, but Hinata's hand on mine during takeoff made me smile. I was grateful for his thoughtfulness, and I hoped to have a relaxing and enjoyable time in Okinawa.