Necklace In The Path

Chapter 22: Facing Past Demons

A few days after my meltdown, Beam had to leave for Shanghai. I remember he showed up at my apartment the day before and seemed really upset. I had thought it was maybe something I did wrong, instead it was just him feeling guilty about leaving me. Of course when he first approached the subject, I felt extremely nervous about being apart from him, but I did not dare to tell him that. He has his own life too and I did not want to get in the way of it.

Beam and I weren't in a relationship, even after I spilled my guts to him, however I could feel our relationship was closer than it was before. He called me everyday while he was away, and even when we did not talk on the phone, he would make the effort to send me a text letting me know what he was doing. I never asked him to do this, although I could tell he was doing this for my sake; the feeling was nice.

Beam had told me he would be gone for at least a week, which was fine with me because I think I needed this alone time. After everything that had happened, I wanted some sort of meditation. And so a few days after he left, I decided to take a trip to a Buddhist temple, but not just any Buddhist temple, The Wat Pho. The temple houses the biggest collection of Buddha images in Thailand, including a 46m long reclining Buddha.

I decided to wake up early to try and get to the temple when it opened. If I could avoid the crowds then, that would be preferable. Even though it was starting to get closer to March, the weather here was still in the 90s. Sometimes I found it strange living in a country where the weather doesn't change much and there's really only one season.

As I scoured through my clothes, I found a black short romper that I had totally forgotten about. I put it on and it seemed to still fit me, it was a little loose, but it looked nice. I put my walking shoes on because I still wasn't sure how long I was going to be at the temple for, or even how large this Temple really was. I grabbed a backpack, threw all my stuff in it and headed out the front door.

I managed to catch the bus before it left. There weren't many people on, which I'm assuming you won't find a lot of people awake here early on a Saturday morning, maybe tourists, not the locals though.

The bus ride went by relatively quickly and once I had arrived at my last stop, I was introduced to a rather large tower. I thought maybe this was the temple, but it was not because I got closer and read a sign that said: หอกลอง Drum Tower

Once I realized the temple was across the street, I made my way over to that area. I walked around for quite a while until I found an entrance. This place was massive, and I kind of wish I had someone with me now since I didn't seem to know where I was going.

I paid the entrance fee and made my way inside the temple. There weren't many people, only a few elderly men and women walking around, but that was it. As I began my stroll, I really started taking in my surroundings. This place was amazing. There was a nice mix of greenery, but also gray and red pavement for the pathways. The color schemes blended in so nicely with each other, and you couldn't really tell that this place was built in the 16th century. Every corner I went around, there would be a new Buddha statue, big or small, they were everywhere.

This was divine. I was taken by the beautiful sculptures and architecture that this temple provided. I found a nearby bench where no one was around so I could take in all of its beauty.

I had thought long and hard on why I came here to begin with. I know I needed the peace of mind that coming to a Buddhist temple would make me feel better, and I guess it distracted me from everything that was going on as of late. I knew I was moving too fast, or at least it felt like I was. I had still been getting over James passing away and Hinata lying to me, and now with Beam... Well, I wasn't sure what to do. Was this visit to the temple actually helping? Or was this just my way of coping?