Moonlight and You

02

My heart was beating crazily. Parang gusto nitong kumawala sa loob ko. That was fucking close. Lord, bakit mo naman ako tinatakot ng ganon?

I wonder if he didn't see Aiyanna? Tangina kung nakakamatay ang overthink baka matagal na akong humimlay.

I was breathing heavily, still haven't calmed down. I closed my eyes forcefully, fucking damn.

This is the reason why I don't want to go to Manila. Being here is suffocating, I wasn't able to have peace.

Nakakatakot, and now muntik niyang makita ang anak niya, ang anak namin.

Aiyanna wrapped her small hands on my waist and hugged me. "Mommy, are you angry? Sorry po hindi na ako uulit."

"No," I uttered softly. "Mommy feels exhausted suddenly, that's why nagmamadali ako kanina." I faked a smile as I uttered lies.

She didn't speak and continued hugging me. I looked at Drix who's looking at us. I weakly smiled at him, he sighed and continued driving.

Inihatid niya kami sa bahay. Pinaakyat ko muna si Aiyanna sa kwarto, I want to talk to Drix. He sat in front of me and waited for me to talk.

"After the last event, aalis na kami." I finally had the courage to say it. Hindi pwedeng magtagal pa kamo dito. Destiny keeps playing on us.

"If that's what you want to do. Alam mo namang support lang ako palagi Ashaia." He assured me.

"Thank you, for saving me as always Drix." I tapped my feet and waited for his response.

He nodded. "You know you're always welcome right? For now, take a rest, bukas na ang isa mo pang event right?"

Umalis din agad ito dahil may gagawin pa raw siya sa opisina. Umakyat ako sa hagdan at sumilip sa pinto ng kwarto namin.

Aiyanna was reading a book. I smiled and opened the door. "Hi baby ko." I greeted her.

"Hi mommy! I'm reading about healing poetries. Kasi po para pag nag cry ikaw may alam po ako to help you." She said and continued reading.

I stopped and stared at her, four years old really? Lumapit ako dito, I combed her hair. "Baby you're too young for that hmm, and mommy can handle herself."

She pouted her cute lips. "There is no age for that mommy." I sighed, she really got her father's attitude, hindi mo makokontra.

Pinagpalit ko ito ng pang tulog pagkatapos kumain. When Aiyanna fell asleep I immediately called Tanisha.

"Tan." I greeted her when she answered the call.

"Yes babe? Is there a problem?" Sunod sunod niyang tanong. She really knows me.

"M-muntik makita ni Fourth si Yanna."

I heard her sighed. "What do you want to do, Selene?"

I leaned on the railings of my veranda. I closed my eyes, and felt what I really wanted to do. I was stuck between I hate him and I want Yanna to have a complete and happy family.

I shouldn't be selfish, but damn masakit pa din. I want to run away but I don't want to be selfish. Aiyanna never mentioned anything about his father, but I know deep inside she's longing for his father.

"To be honest, my first option was to run, again. But then I realized something, paano kung gusto ni Aiyanna na malaman kung sino ang ama niya? She might be silent but I know she's longing for it too." I replied.

Na kahit ako, I'm longing for his presence too. I still love him, na kahit dinurog ako ng taong yon, mahal na mahal ko pa din.

I'm scared but there's a part of me who wants to risk it again, for my daughter. I still consider his side, paano kung may nangyari kaya bigla siyang nakipaghiwalay sa akin noon.