Moonlight and You

12

How I wish, it was just a dream.

Kung pwede lang, kung pwede lang na maging panaginip ang lahat. Gusto ko ng gumising sa putanginang bangungot na to.

I should have savored the moment that I was with him and said everything I wanted to say. Now, I'm regretting how I treated him that night.

I should have told her about Aiyanna. Hindi niya man lang nakita ang anak namin, hindi siya nabigyan ng pagkakataon na makilala ang anak namin.

I'm so bad. Damn, ang tanga ko. Ang sama sama ko, I shouldn't have been selfish. Isinantabi ko na lang sana muna ang alitan namin, nabigyan ko pa sana si Aiyanna ng masayang pamilya.

All I can do now is cry and mourn. As if these tears can bring Fourth back. I hugged myself and continued crying. I don't know how to say this to Aiyanna.

Kakapakilala ko pa lang sa kanya, ngayon, wala na agad ang daddy niya. What can I do if this is what God wants for us. But, why do it need to be this much?

I wiped my tears and took my phone that is ringing. Tita Fhlia is calling. "Hello, tita?"

"I-iha." Kahit ngayon, ramdam ko ang lungkot sa boses nito.

I laughed weakly. Muli na namang pumatak ang luha sa aking mga mata. "I know tita, saw it in the news."

"Can you come over, with Aiyanna please. Ipapasundo ko kayo, don't worry." She said.

"Sure." Binaba ko na ang tawag at inayos ang aking sarili.

Kumatok ako sa kwarto ni Kalisha, agad naman itong sumagot. "Lumipat sa kwarto niyo si Yanna, inantok. Oh, bakit ganyan ang itsura mo Ashaia."

"Kali." I sobbed.

She immediately panicked and hugged me. "Hala huy, baka isipin ni Yanna pinaiyak kita."

"Wala na siya, wala na si Fourth."

Kalisha caressed my back to calm me down. "Hush, Fourth will be sad if he saw you crying."

"Ang sakit sakit, akala ko hindi ko na siya mahal. Pero bakit ganito, kung kailan wala na siya, saka naman bumalik." My lips shivered as my tears rushed down on my face.

"I know, I'm here. I will help you overcome it. We will both overcome this huh." She comforted me.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" I heard Aiyanna's voice.

Lumabas muna si Kalisha para makapag usap kami ng anak ko. Patuloy pa rin ako sa pag iyak habang si Aiyanna naman ay nag aalalang naka titig sa akin.

I don't know how to say that her father is dead.

"Baby, mommy needs to tell you something."

She nodded and looked at me.

"Y-your daddy." My voice trembled. "Wala na si daddy mo."

She hugged me. "Ang sakit po mommy sa heart. Hindi ko pa po siya na h-hug, saka na k-kiss tapos kinuha na po agad siya ni papa God." Mahina itong humikbi.

I caressed her back and hugged her. "I'm sorry anak."

I let her calm down.

Dion fetched us, I told Aiyanna that we will go to her father's place.

Everytime he came to my mind, I couldn't just stop my tears from escaping. Why does it hurt so much?

Dion was still silent but I could feel him watching me. When we arrived, tita Fhlia rushed and hugged me.

Aiyanna was indeed confused. After that, tita Fhlia hugged Aiyanna. Even though she's confused she still hugged her lola back.

Lumuhod ako upang magpantay kami. Tita Fhlia let me explain it to Aiyanna. "She's your father's mother, baby. She's also your mommyla."