gym class - billie eilish

8

cw: mentions of self harm, blood, and pills.

billie must've heard me cry because i heard a knock on the door. or at least that's what i thought. i opened the door and saw lily there. she hugged me and asked me why i was crying. i told her it was a long story, and that i don't wanna talk about it. "why do you smell like weed?" they asked me. "i have no idea" i said, sounding clueless. i texted billie saying "idk what's going on with you but i wanna help you. i'm here for you and i care.". and told lily that i'll stay in the locker room during the next class because i just wanna be alone.

when the break was over, lily left to go to class and i knocked on billie's stall. she opened the door and i walked in. she closed the door behind me and said "i'm sorry i'm such a fuck up. i keep fucking up everything". i hugged her and she told me to sit down in her lap, so i did. she whimpered in pain. she moved me a bit further away from her and i apologized "shit i'm sorry i forgot".

"it's okay, i'm just a huge fucking mess. i'm really sorry y/n." she said and looked into my eyes. "why did you do it?" i asked her. "you left and i was feeling like shit.." she answered. "oh billie.." i sighed and hugged her. "i'm sorry" she apologized again. "it's okay.." i said and rubbed her back as she burst into tears on my shoulder. "please no go.." billie said and i quickly realized she slipped.

i rubbed her back and kept reassuring her "i'm not going anywhere love". "big billie say she sorry" she said. "sorry for what baby?" i asked her. "bein rude befo" she said. "don't worry about it, it's okay" i reassured her once again. "i wan show you somethin" billie said and opened her backpack. in it there were a lot of pills. like. a lot. like hundreds of them. "thank you for showing me darling" i told billie and hugged her tighter. she smiled.

i didn't know what the fuck to do. was billie a drug addict or was she just planning on doing it again?. "can you do me a favor and ask big billie to come out precious?" i asked her. "no wan me?" billie said and pouted. "no no, i want you, i just need to ask her a question". before i completed the sentence billie said "did i slip again?". "mhm" i said. "fuck. what is it about you that keeps making me slip?" she said. "i don't know but billie what is this??" i asked and pointed to her open bag.

"fuck did little billie show you this? fuck i can't. fuck." billie panicked. "yeah she did. now what the fuck is that?" i asked again, worried. "it's nothing." billie said and quickly reached to her bag to close it, but i grabbed her hands. "billie. explain to me what this is." i demanded. "remember what i said earlier? it's still fucking true. this is none of your business." she said in a harsh tone, but i was over her attitude.

"i don't give a shit billie. tell me what that is and what you're planning on doing with it." i said in an even harsher tone. "is it seriously not fucking clear y/n?" billie yelled at me. i closed her bag, took it and got out of the stall. "what the fuck are you doing?" billie shouted and pulled the bag so hard that i fell down on my face with it. "fuck." she yelled. "i'm sorry.". "save it. i don't wanna hear it." i said calmly and got up to wash my face. "fuckkk, my nose is bleeding" i groaned and billie kept apologizing.

"billie." i said. "what?" she said. "stop apologizing. you're right. i'm just your friend with benefits." i said and left the locker room.

674 words.

a/n: edited grammar mistakes.