gym class - billie eilish

30

about half an hour after they took billie to the operating room, finneas arrived. when he found only me in the room, he asked "where's billie?". "operating room. she has a brain bleed" i replied dryly. i became numb from all the emotions i was feeling.

"what?!, how'd that happen?" he asked. "the accident" i answered. "do you know when she'll get out?" he asked, and before i could answer, they were rolling billie's bed back into the room.

the doctor explained "we were able to stop the bleeding. however, it was in a crucial part of the brain that's responsible for memories". "are you saying she'll wake up and not remember anything? at all?" finneas asked, worried.

"unfortunately, that might be the case. we can't know for sure until she wakes up. call the nurses if anything happens and it seems even slightly different than what i mentioned. the only area that should've been affected is the memory area" he said and left the room.

i just laid there, in my hospital bed, staring at billie sleeping peacefully. i couldn't feel anything at all. i couldn't move either. i just laid there, staring at her, waiting for her to wake up.

i had no clue what day it was, or what time it was, or how long we'd been in the hospital. i stopped noticing my surroundings. i just stared at billie, day and night.

at some point, i was woken up by the feeling of being stared at. i opened my eyes and saw the familiar blue eyes staring right back at me.

"who the fuck are you?" billie asked me. "baby, what do you mean? it's me, y/n" i answered. "why are you calling me baby? i'm single.. and i have no clue who you are. i've never even met a person called y/n" billie said, hurting my feelings without knowing it.

i called maggie, patrick and finneas to rush to the hospital, and see if billie recognizes them. when they walked in the room and approached billie to hug her, billie pushed each one of them away, saying "bro, why the fuck are y'all hugging me? who the fuck are you all? what the fuck is going on here?".

maggie sighed, tearing up, "billie, i'm your mother. do you really not remember me?". "i've never even seen you before. can y'all get outta my room? it's kinda weird that i'm in my room in my house and i have strangers in it"** billie said, and just like that, we were all kicked out of the room.

we didn't wanna upset billie or cause anything bad to happen to her, so each of us gave all the nurses our phone numbers, to call in case anything happens, at every hour.

i left the hospital feeling number than ever. i decided to just walk home. it's not like anyone was waiting on me or anything like that. my house was about 45 minutes away from the hospital (by walking).

suddenly, i got a notification on my phone. excited, i opened it, and saw it was just my photos app. it created a collage of pictures billie and i had taken together. the song that was playing in the background of the collage was "we fell in love in october" by girl in red. obviously, i started sobbing uncontrollably.

i was stopped by some random man on the street, asking me "are you okay princess?". i ignored him and kept walking. "hey! i asked you a question. get back here" he yelled at me.

i didn't have anything on me to protect myself with. i just kept walking. he grabbed my shoulder and turned my body around to face him. "bitch. if someone asks you if you're okay, the polite thing to do is answer them, not be rude like that" he yelled at me again.

i just looked at him in the eyes, and the next thing i know, my fist hit his nose, breaking it. "what the fuck dude?? you're fucking crazy. a crazy bitch" he screamed and ran away. i wiped the blood off my fist on my sweatshirt and kept walking.

i didn't care anymore. life without billie had no meaning. she was the only person that made life feel worth living for.

when i got home, i took an "everything" shower. washed my hair, put on a hair mask, exfoliated, shaved my whole body, washed the hair mask off, washed my face, did a skin mask and my skincare after that. i felt like a whole new person on the outside.

the inside though was the same. i still felt completely numb, the same person. i knew that realistically, billie's brain bleed didn't get worse because of me; yet i kept thinking, what if that's the reason it did?.

would it be all different right now, if we had just waited a little bit, instead of being the sex addicts we are?

831 words.

**a/n: billie thinks she's in her house. she doesn't remember anything, so she's just assuming she's home.

a/n 2: fixed grammar mistakes.