Lovers Not Without Sin | Dutch van der Linde x OC

Chapter 48

No matter the quality of Ada's sleep, waking up beside Dutch isn't something she thinks will get old in a hurry. She's facing away from him, but as he lies on his back his arm grips around her waist and his gentle snore fills her ears. It's secure, safe, and everything she could've wanted.

She just wishes she could exist in the moment as her usual self.

It's never an easy task, pulling herself from his warmth, but she does it slowly and quietly until she's stood and he shifts slightly but remains in his slumber. After a last look at his peaceful expression, she steps out of the tent.

Whatever is still eating away at her from the inside deters any possibility of Ada drowning out her thoughts, so she instead opts for sitting by the lake and waiting patiently for the sun to rise.

Copper scampering up and down the bank is what forces her to stand once she's admired the way the morning sun dances on the stillness of the lake, wishing her thoughts would take some inspiration from how easily the light mixes with any activity in the water, insisting she play with him or else he'll bark and make it everyone else's problem.

"Thought you might want a coffee," Abigail extends a steaming mug to her as the camp begins awakening and Ada takes it gratefully.

"Thank you, Miss Roberts," she says as the two take a seat on the rise of the bank.

"Lots of changes for you around here," Abigail comments, running her thumbs along the brim of her own mug.

"You can say that again," Ada huffs. "Not bad ones though."

"I suppose not."

Ada takes a sip and glances sideways at her friend, who looks rather sheepish as she gazes across the river. "Are you alright?"

Abigail nods. "Just worried about you, is all. These men don't make it easy to love them."

"You can say that again," she snorts. "I always thought that it'd be simple, if only Dutch would love me properly. But something about it still seems difficult." Ada clears her throat, reminding herself of the much worse relationship situation of the woman beside her. "Not that it's anything to complain about."

"Course it is," Abigail tuts softly, "don't be making your problems smaller in order to fit mine in. John Marston is an idiot, and I knew that when I fell for him."

"Hosea tells me I shouldn't blame myself for choosing to love who I love, while I don't take his advice, I'll at least pass it onto you."

"Oh," she grins into her mug and takes a sip, "I've had that particular talk from him many times myself. Besides, neither of us chose to love these idiot men."

"Perhaps we're all idiots," Ada hums, watching as a sparrow skims across the lake. "We are all fools in love, after all."

"Jesus," Abigail chuckles.

"What?"

"I never realised how similar the two of you were. Now I know, the pair of you are like twin flames and I'm surprised none of us saw it sooner."

Ada shakes her head, swallowing down her embarrassment. "It's from a book," she mumbles.

"Don't you try and be someone you're not for the sake of hiding your feelings. If you love him, then love him. If you want to talk poetry and quotes it'll go right over my head but don't you go hiding it." Abigail nudges her arm along with her sternly soft words.

"You're a good friend," Ada nudges her back. "I hope Marston sorts his shit out eventually."

"Me too... for the boy's sake, of course."